Revelations and anguish

2

I questioned his friends about his recent behavior, probing for anything different. I begged them not to tell anyone about it, to which they agreed only after I told them that I thought he was upset. Understanding my plight, they promised to tell me if they noticed something, then left.

I fell into deep thought on my way to the shoot about the conversation I had with his closest friends. So, they haven't noticed too. I dropped my head back as I weighted the pros and cons of asking the TEMPT boys about it. And P'Pae. Eventually, I decided to have a chat with P'Plan later today. Sending him a quick text to meet me tonight and asking him not to let anyone know, I did some breathing exercises to calm my mind in preparation for the shoot.

***

I went through Perth's tag while I waited for P'Plan. I looked carefully at the pictures and videos fans have uploaded. There were occasions in which he was caught on camera with an empty look in his eyes. I have seen those before, and I thought it was due to fatigue. But now I realize it was a lot more than that.

I looked up as P'Plan came and sat across me at the café.

"What's up Nong? What's with all the secrecy? "

"Sawaddee P '. I have something to ask about Perth. "

"Shouldn't you be asking him then?"

"I've been keeping secrets."

"Secrets?"

"Yes P '." And I proceeded to tell him what I witnessed last night.

"P ', did you, any of you, ever notice anything off about him?"

"Do not. He never showed anything like that to us. We felt no change from him. Actually, we all thought he was very happy these days... .though.... "

"Though?"

"He has an unhealthy obsession with the ZS hashtag. Always checking it. "

I inhaled sharply. Why would he do that? My heart sank but I shook it off. There's more I need to know.

"And what about work? He is barely home at night P '"

"Oh yeah, he is working hard these days, especially on his singing. He is frustrated that while he can sing and play guitar quite well independently, he messes up one or the other when doing it simultaneously. It's nothing big but you know what he is like... wanting to do things perfectly to please his fans. So, he is working on that. "

"I see... Did any of you question him about his fixation with the ZS #?"

"At first yeah... .but he laughed it off saying he was just following your work and we let it be after that."

"What is he like after he goes through the tag?"

"No change. But from what you just told me; he probably hid it. "

I didn't know what else to ask or even say, I didn't know the extent of Perth's unhappiness. It seemed no one knew anything about it either. It worried me at how successful he has been in hiding his pain from those closest to him. It must have taken quite a strain on him. All that bottling up isn't good and he is either going to go off like a bomb or fall into depression at some point.

We finished our drinks (Watermelon juice) while I was busy thinking. I paid our tabs and walked out of the place.

"Look Nong, maybe you should talk to Perth straightaway about this. You know he would do anything for you. If you ask, he would tell. "

I smiled. "I know P '. Thank you for coming and talking with me today. I appreciate it very much. "

"Of course, Nong. See you then. "