5.12, damnatio memoriae

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season 5, chapter 12 : damnatio memoriae

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"You're apart of the pack, right?"

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"You're apart of the pack, right?"

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I sit on the bed, watching Scott pin pictures and post it notes up to the cork board then attach a thin thread of red string to each one of them. As soon as he finishes, I notice one of the red strings are attached to him instead of the board and I guess Scott notices it too. I open my mouth to say something but he yanks his arm, all the pictures falling into a pile on the floor.

"Maybe you should leave the boards to Stiles." I suggest, Scott just sighing.

I walk through the dim hospital, making my way to the Sheriffs room when I bump into Stiles. Confused, I follow Stiles and we eventually reach the morgue where find his father standing over a body. Donovan's body. Stiles opens the door, grabbing Stilinski's attention as we walk over to him.

"The story Theo told me about the library." Stilinski begins. "That's how it happened. Except it didn't happen to him."

Stiles exhales deeply. "Yeah."

"Stiles, I can't protect you or Y/n if I don't know the truth." Stilinski states. "Did you really feel like you couldn't tell me?"

"I couldn't tell anyone." Stiles whispers.

"Did you think that I wouldn't believe that it was self-defence?" Stilinski asks.

"What if it wasn't?" Stiles replies. "What if I told you I wanted him dead?"

"Stiles, wanting someone dead and murdering them are two very different things." I tell him.

"Yeah, but what if the judge didn't think so?" Stiles asks.

"Then to hell with the judge." Stilinski replies. "It was self-defence, you and Y/n were protecting yourselves and each other from him. I would destroy every shred of evidence to protect you if I had to. I would burn the whole station to the ground."

"What upholding the law?" Stiles asks once they push the body back into its place.

Stilinski sighs. "I guess I'm learning how to bend."

"So, it just goes away?" I question.

Stilinski shakes his head. "Not for you two. The problem now is how to bear this burden. This kind of thing is not all uncommon in law enforcement. A fatal mistake. A partner who dies. Or one who gets paralysed. You carry that with you. Sometimes it doesn't truly feel okay again until there's a kind of counterbalance."

"Like what?" Stiles asks.

"Like instead of taking a life, you manage to save one." Stilinski replies. "Something like that can help. The real conflict you're both having now is between your head and your heart. Your head knows the only crime you committed was surviving. Your heart still thinks it was murder. You've got to get your heart to catch up to your head."

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