Traumatised

Ten: hidden truths

Not edited 🙃

His nightmares continued to plague him, he thought maybe in some miracle after one therapy session he'd be cured, be free from his torment but sadly life didn't work that way. There was no miracle cure or fix for what he's going through. No magical treatment that would turn his life from the depths of hell to the sunshine in the clouds.

He wanted to be better, he really did but no matter how hard he tried, how badly he wanted it he just couldn't seem to get there.

He thought he'd sleep blissfully, that maybe he wouldn't be cruelly forced to relive his abuse. He had a good night up till then, spent it with Namjoon lounging on the couch watching bad romcoms. It was nice, it really was until he laid his head on his pillow and shut his eyes. That was when his demons came out to play, to brutalise him and torture him.

He hated it. Hated the pain he felt, hated the crying he did, hated how pathetic he was. Why couldn't he get over it? Why couldn't he just stop crying?

Was he really that weak? Maybe he was.

He curls himself into a ball, hugging his knees he tries to calm himself down. He sniffles, whipping his nose with his sweater paws. It was dark, pitch black just like that night. It was quiet, a slight spring breeze in the air just like that night.

"Jimin?" His bedroom door creeks open, the dim light from the hallway shines softly into his room.

Jimin cranes his neck, body still twisted into a ball he looks over to where Namjoon is lurking by the door.

"You okay? I can hear you from my room." He keeps the door slightly ajar, peering in on Jimin.

"I'm sorry, I'll be quiet." He clutched desperately onto his pillow.

"No, it's okay." Namjoon slips further into the room, he closes the door behind him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He carefully walks forward, wary of Jimin.

Jimin stares at him for a moment before he breaks down again, becoming a sopping mess. He wasn't entirely sure why he was crying, he didn't have a reason for it, not really. He felt better, more positive about life but for some reason he couldn't stop the daily routine of crying himself to sleep. It was engraved into him now, this self districting cycle that would soon destroy him.

"Hey, hey it's okay." Namjoon drops to his knees by the side of his bed, trying in some way to soothe the broken boy.

"I'm sorry, I know it's stupid but I just can't stop crying. I don't know why? I feel better, I really do but every time I lay in bed it just hurts." He cradled his withering body, clenching his eyes in hopes to rid the pathetic tears.

He hated being so weak, being the man who cried at the littlest thing, the man he who couldn't even stomach a night alone. He wasn't a child, he should be able to survive being alone yet he just couldn't. The night before Tae stayed with him, laid beside him, keeping him company through the night, through his nightmares.

"Don't apologise Jimin, it's really okay. You've been through a lot. Do you want me to stay here? I can take the couch over there." Namjoon gingerly reaches over to stroke his clenched hands.

Jimin sniffles, wiping his eye he nods his head, liking the sound of that very much. He knew he was safe, the man couldn't know he was here, where he was hiding.

"Thank you." He squeezes his hand, giving him his gratitude for being so kind.

Namjoon grabs some blankets along with the pillow Jimin offers him from the other side of his bed. He settles himself on the cramped couch, laying so he faced Jimin's bed.