Love and Pride

Pride, Love and First Impressions Part 6

Ayhan

I leaned my back against his front and sighed in defeat. I lifted my arms and wrapped them around his neck, the back of my head rested on his chest. It had been so long since he'd touched me, my body responded immediately and I was helpless to fight it.

His hands remained pressed against the door and I turned my head and nipped his scruffy jaw. His lashed lowered and he exhaled roughly, sounding relieved.

"You hurt me," I whispered.

"I know. I'm sorry," he said, his hands went to rest tentatively on my hips. I pushed back against him and he released a sexy growl in my ear, his lips traveling slowly down my cheek, my jaw, my neck.

"Where is she?"

"She left. She didn't like it when I came after you."

"I'm still angry with you. Don't think this changes anything," I said, threading my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

"I wouldn't dare," he murmured against my neck.

I could feel his hot gaze devouring the view he had of my cleavage.

"You wore this dress to drive me insane," he lamented.

"No, I wore it because it made me feel sexy. That it drives you insane is just a bonus."

I felt his lips widen in a smile on my shoulder.

I turned and faced him.

"What do you really want, Osman? I'm not waiting around anymore for you to stop friend-zoning me. I'm an attractive woman of means, quite the catch. Don't think because I've been mooning after you all these years that I can't have my pick of available men."

He made a low growling sound, his body pressing me against the door, entwining our hands and pressing them beside my head. His lips glanced over mine softly "I don't want to hear about available men."

"Excuse me. How dare you act like a possessive alphahole when it was you who showed up with a date tonight?"

He bent his head and fastened his mouth to mine in response. My lips parted under his and I stroked his tongue with mine. His hands roamed my body restlessly and I pushed my hips against his and moaned into his mouth when he rubbed his hardness where I need it.

He lifted his head after long passionate minutes.

"I heard you were leaving and...," he sighed and pressed his forehead against mine. "I was hurt and I wanted to show you I didn't care."

"Idiot. So you picked someone the exact opposite of me to make me feel bad. That makes you a big, fat jerk."

"No, that's not true at all. She barely registered. She asked me out several weeks back and I took her up on it today. I couldn't tell you anything about her. I don't know
that her favorite color is green, that she loves chocolate truffles and really ugly dogs, or that she has this way of biting her lip when she's thinking naughty thoughts, that she has the body of a goddess and a smart, sassy mouth that makes me want to do bend her over my knee and spank her."

I closed my eyes and sighed softly. He was devastating.

"So, you're saying she's not your type," I was really hung up on this. My vanity was pricked, damn it.

"My type is apparently a short, busty, outrageously gorgeous chatterbox," he said ruefully.

He was the worst. The worst. The flimsy walls I'd erected around my heart were crumbling into so much dust but I had to remain strong. Walk away. Now. I was going to do it any minute now. So, of course, the only rational thing I could do was kiss his gorgeous, aggravating mouth. I grabbed him by his tie, pulled him to me and kissed him.

"For years now, I have been witness to an epic love and a devotion so deep and true it defies logic. I want no less for myself, " I said against his lips.

"I don't know if I can give you what you need. I don't know if I can give you what you deserve. I don't know if I can be enough," he whispered, the backs of his fingers caressed my cheek. I cupped his face and kissed his lips softly.

"I can't figure that out for you. You'll have to do that work for yourself. But I meant what I said. I'm done waiting for you to get your head out of your ass."

I disentangled myself from his arms opened the door and left him standing there.

****
The next day I sat by the pool with Sanem's feet on my lap and she was shamelessly begging for a foot rub. She was eleventy months pregnant again and very ornery with it.

"Why isn't your husband doing this for you?" I asked but gave in to her entreaties.

"Because his foot rubs always end up with me jumping his bones. Pregnancy makes me very randy." she grumped.

"Oh God! Between this and the talk of your naps last night, I'm ready to pour bleach in my ears," I said but she was distractedly eyeballing Can who was doing pull-ups on the branch of a nearby tree. He was attending to Yildiz who perched on the same branch talking a mile a minute. Apparently, she was still on a mission to conquer her fears. Deniz was next to her offering moral support, I guessed.

"So who was that woman with Osman last night?" she asked me out of the blue.

I shrugged. "Don't know. Don't care."

"You know, I would have thought for sure you of all people would have him in the bag by now."

"Do you want me to stop?" I frowned at her.

"Don't you dare!" she glared at me and I went back to work. "I don't know about this nonsense about you leaving. You're doing it for all the wrong reasons. Leaving isn't going to help anything. Putting distance between you will make it worse, not better. "

"I can't be around him and not want to be with him," I sighed. "Unrequited love is a bitch."

"It isn't unrequited. It's clear to anyone with eyes that he is in love with you."

"So he's like some tragic gothic hero? Doomed to love me from afar?"

"He does have a tragic backstory of a gothic hero. From what I know he was bounced from relative to relative after he was orphaned. It had to have left some lasting damage. Abandonment issues? Who knows? You need to force his hand."

"I've thrown myself at him before. I even declared myself like a lovesick fool and he walked away." I blinked the tears away.

She sat up and embraced me. Her open physical affection still took me by surprise sometimes.

"Okay. It's okay. Don't cry. I guess if putting distance between you will help you then I'll have to be fine with you leaving. But you can't leave me before this baby is born."

"Of course not. I have to be the first to meet him or her and establish myself as the favorite Auntie before Leyla tries to insinuate herself as the favorite."

****
A few days later I finished moving into Sanem's pool house. I sold my apartment in preparation for my trip and decided to stay here to await the birth of the new baby. The night was cold and rainy, and I couldn't sleep so I sat on the couch in my pj's eating ice cream straight out of the carton and watching period dramas. I was wallowing, no word from... No, I refused to think of him.

Jerk. Gorgeous, emotionally stunted jerk. The dog whined to be let outside so I reluctantly got up and opened the door.

He stood there, rain dripping off his face in rivulets, gazing at me mutely, eyes burning with emotion. I stared at him in amazement. He looked so lost, my heart twisted in pain.

"Come here," I said and took his hand.

I didn't know what tomorrow would bring. Maybe more heartache. Maybe he was too damaged to let himself be vulnerable to love. Maybe I'd regret it. But in that moment I didn't care. Tonight he was mine and I was his.