Smile [On Hold]

Chapter 1

I'm alone in the world.

 I know it sounds cliche and it seems everyone says it. But I've really got nobody. 

My parents disappeared before I was old enough to remember them. As far as I know, I have no living grandparents, and don't know any of my other relatives, if I have any. 

Again, cliche, but I have no friends. But I get by. 

I focus on schoolwork and get good grades. Not perfect though, because I don't want the school bullies to have any more ammunition to shoot me with. 

I am, apparently, every school bullies' Christmas and birthday rolled into one.

 I have no parents, no relatives, wear glasses, live in a foster home, and worse of all, I have ginger hair. Not a light ginger, more of a fiery ginger with tones of red. But apparently this means I'm hot-headed angry girl who is perfect for bullying. Fun times. 

But I survive. I get by, just. 

The children prank me, pretend to be my friend and then treat me like shit. I'm used to it by now. How could I not? Years and years. Ever since I started school. Even before school, at nursery.

 Like I said, I'm used to it. I can take it. I let it slide over my head.

 I have two main rules. One: Never give them anything for them to bully you. Two: Don't stand up to them. Don't make a fuss . 

But according to my foster mum, Jane, I need to get out more, make more friends. And according to her, the best way to do that is to send me to the youth group. 

And when I say send, I mean forcibly bribe and blackmail until I grudgingly agreed. Which is why I am now staring up at the village hall, after Jane forced me to come to the youth group.  As if my life wasn't bad enough already. Great. 

"Hi! Welcome to the youth group! My name's Michelle! What's your name?" a smiley woman meets me in reception. I hesitate. 

"Kara." I reply. The woman glances up. 

"Kara...." She wants my last name. 

I groan inwardly. I have an inner debate every time someone asks. Johns is my parents name, but William is my foster parents name. Which one do I choose? My parents are well... my parents. But they left me, and Jane and Tom have looked after me since I was three. Twelve years now. The woman is still waiting for an answer. 

"Kara... William." She jots it down as I feel a wave of sadness. 

I never knew my parents, so in some ways I can't miss what I never had. But I want a mother, who hugs me at night and helps me through problems, a father who protects me and makes me feel strong. 

I push down the emotion and try to smile at the woman. She smiles back before motioning me to go through. I notice for the first-time shouts and laughter coming from behind the double doors. I grimace and push my way through.

The noise dies suddenly as the teens spot me. "Everyone, act natural!" someone shouts. 

I try to hide a smile. A boy around my age darts forward. His hair is short, black and shaggy. He's pale and has brown freckles. As I study his face, I meet his eyes. His eyes are green, the same colour as grass in the morning. 

He steadily meets my gaze as he says, "Hi. I'm Lucas." He gestures to the crowd of about a dozen behind him. "They can introduce themselves." 

He seems to be waiting for something from me. "Oh, right. I'm Kara." I say quickly.

 A grinning girl with blonde hair introduces herself as Linda. There's a Tom, a Jerry (I know, and even better, they were twins!), a Jasmine, a Cecilia, a Lola, a Joshua, and three others who look very shy and mutter their names quietly. I nod at each one in turn in way of greeting. My neck is sore afterwards. 

A tall woman walks forward. She looks like an older version of Lucas, so I guess she's his mum. She grasps my hand and shakes it. "Hi Kara. I'm Sally. Welcome. Today we're talking about foster children." I'm going to kill Jane. She must have known. 

"Lola over there," she points to a girl who looks about a year older than me with brown hair and sad eyes. "Lola is a foster child. She has been for three years." We all gather in a circle on hard chairs that aren't comfy in the slightest.

 I end up between Lucas and Lola. Sally settles on the other side of Lucas. "Kara? Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?" Sally suggests with an encouraging smile. 

"Umm, well my name is Kara and I'm fifteen. I don't know who my parents are, they left me on the orphanage doorstep when I was two. I've been with a foster family since I was three, and their names are Jane and John. I have a foster brother Kylie, who is seven."

 I realise they're all staring at me with more than just a slight interest. They have pity and uncertainty in their eyes. Lola is looking at me as if she understands, which I guess she does. But Lucas is looking at me differently. With something closer to admiration. I turn away. 

"And... yeah! That's me." I stop talking and look at my hands in my lap. 

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Hey guys, I hope you liked it.

The picture at the top is how I imagine Kara to look, but I would love to hear if you have other ideas. You can send me alternative photos/pictures of Kara, that would be awesome.

On a serious note, although it was barely mentioned in this chapter, Kara is bullied. I wrote this story partly because some people that are important to me have been bullied in the past. I wanted to help raise awareness about bullying. 

But enough of all the gloom and doom, this book is only my second on Watt pad, so it might be rubbish. I am open to comments and feedback!

Until next time,

Kat