Say You Love Me

{18}

When she awoke to a luxurious breakfast the next morning, Hermione felt like the normality was just a bit too close to the week they'd spent together as a couple. However, Severus seemed to be reserved and not compelled to make anything uncomfortable as he sat and enjoyed the meal before him without a word spoken.

He looked extremely unprepared for the swimming she had in mind.

"Are you going to the beach with me?"

"No," Severus said immediately, his blunt answer even more so for the morning that still clung to his voice.

Hermione wasn't sure why she ever assumed he would be a morning person without her waking besides him.

"Your guest room was lovely, I had no trouble sleeping."

"Any discomfort from your disease? It's hard to know when you are not sleeping next to me."

There was the stab at her, but she let it go. She probably deserved it anyways.

"No," Hermione said, not daring to look at him for fear she might tell him everything. "The view was pretty, I left the curtains open."

"Brilliant."

"Right... are you sure you don't wish to join me for my swim?"

Severus shook his head.

"I appreciate your want for me to do so, but I don't think I can handle seeing you that way, being so close, yet so very far."

Hermione understood.

She wasn't in her swim things yet, but there would be time for that later, for now she was enjoying her deliciously sweet crepes.

"Did I ever tell you how wonderful you are at making meals?"

"Plenty. You should feel bad for your friend, though. Draco cannot cook for anything, I am sure you might have heard?"

"Yes, Harry can't complain enough."

Severus gave her a slight chuckle, and her day brightened, even if there was a little bit of cloud cover. Typical.

Still, the weather was nice, and she was more than excited to spend a day free in the waters. What Hermione dreaded most was going back, to have to leave the comfort of Severus' home and his breathable air, then coming back and eventually feeling the same here as she did everywhere else. What a horrid cycle it was.

When she finished her breakfast, Severus insisted that she go, considering her eyes were darting outside almost every moment, and she took the offer, heading outside with her towel, changed into her bathing suit. The warmth and smell of the water intoxicated her, having nearly forgotten the feeling of sand and cool waves.

Hermione had no idea if Severus was watching her from his home, but she most certainly hoped not, for both of their sake. He was still attached to her, that was for certain, and none of this would be a problem to her if it wasn't for her untimely death in the upcoming future. She wanted for them to be together.

Submerging herself entirely under, Hermione wondered on a whim if she should merely expedite the process. To let the water fill her lungs take her life right there in the one place where she'd felt peace so overcoming. But she came back up, rather dying of her curse than the painful episode that drowning was, knowing it would burn and suffocate her in her last moments.

Her hair was never appreciative of activities like this, and it showed when she went back to her towel, warmed by the sun and sand. The curls were frizzy, and none of them were uniform in the slightest, falling about her shoulders like a wet rag. It was truly tragic.