Say You Love Me

{19}

"So you stayed at Severus's for the weekend?"

Harry's interrogation was not amusing to Hermione.

On that late Wednesday night, the wedding fast approaching, he sat on her floor as though they were in their teens again, lounging in the common room with nothing but the looming threat of Voldemort hanging over their heads.

Simpler times, really.

At least that was a death Hermione felt like she could prevent, something that was a noble way to go if she did become a victim of the cause.

"Yeah. And before you even think of it Harry James Potter, we did not sleep together, though reckon he would have if I had gone there to reconcile."

"Git," Ron said halfheartedly. He wasn't Severus's biggest fan, but he wasn't entirely angry at him either.

Hermione wasn't even upset with Ron at that point, wanting him to be around so she could heal in her heart, if not her flowered lungs. She no longer had time to be upset with him anyways.

Harry was chuckling at the entire thing and she pushed his shoulder from her high and mighty spot on the sofa, happy to have her thoughts distracted, yet wishing it could have been a different topic.

"Bloody hell, Hermione," Harry said in an apologetic tone, though no apology came. "I just don't get why you allow all that sexual tension to build up instead of just getting back-"

It was Ron's turn to be slightly disgusted and he interrupted ferociously, "No! Merlin's balls, mate, don't encourage her."

Harry didn't seem to care and went for a different approach. "We're all getting shagged but you, Hermione, time to get on that."

Hermione hit him harder this time.

"No, Harry James Potter, I shall not! I am focused on my career right now, not... 'getting on that,'" she mimicked, slightly offended.

He turned to her, setting his wand down and twisting even further.

"You're in a brilliant place at work. There's nothing else besides Minister, and no offense, but Kingsley likes the job a little much right about now."

She knew this, everyone seemed to know it, but there were so many things that Harry nor Ron could know. Saving face and merely letting everyone down as a friend would be what she could live... or die with.

"Well, then, I need to build up my social presence more and look like a good candidate to the Wizengamot. Now, what about you? How's Draco fairing?"

Ron huffed. "I was there yesterday, bloody menace, he is. You'd think with a smaller wedding, the ferret wouldn't be getting his wand in such a knot, now would you?"

"He wants it to be perfect," Harry corrected. "He had so little control for the beginning of his life, and I don't mind it. Allows me to do so much less for this thing. I just want to be bonded and done with it."

"There were definitely choices he made, Harry," Hermione reminded him gently. "But I suppose you're not too wrong. And don't be so blase about it! You're getting bonded to the man you love, and all the people you hold dearest will be there to witness it!"

She was particularly excited about that part! The fact they were rushing it was a good thing for her, despite Hermione wishing she didn't have to say so.

"Hermione, it's an expensive way to let people know we're absolutely going to shag that night, as if we haven't the night... or even morning before."

"C'mon, mate!" Ron moaned, and Hermione had to agree that she didn't particularly care to hear such things.

"Thanks for the visual," she added, her nose scrunched up.

"Neither of you would be so nose-in-the-air about it if you were getting any!"

Ron scoffed, "Never said I wasn't, only said that you're bloody disgusting going on about it with the ferret."

Hermione's heart clenched, with the orange petals in her chest crying for the man whom they represented. She might not love him as much as she did before considering everything happening between her and Severus, but they had been together for several years!

"It sounds worse when you call him that," Harry defended, though his face was now displeased as well.

"Well, how are the Cannons doing, Ron?" Hermione changed the subject as far away as possible from what they were discussing.

"Brilliant," he lied, and they all burst back into laughter.

Hermione considered the entire thing a success, the evening with her friends, and luckily she was calm and hadn't given anything away. They laughed more and ate leftovers, and she was able to keep the boys off her back about her future which was very uncertain to them. For her... well, she knew exactly what was in store for her within the next two years.

You gotta die sometime...

Hermione simply wished her time was a little later. Most witches and wizards lived well beyond their muggle counterparts in years. They could go on for many years, Dumbledore proof of such a life.

If there was a cure to be found she had no doubt Severus would be able to sniff it out. She didn't quite understand everything he said to her when he'd taken her downstairs to prove he was still working in her favor, but she certainly could tell he'd been working hard. She just attempted to avoid the lack of spiders that had previously occupied his lab, and attempted to keep up with all the potions jargon that went far beyond NEWT levels.

Healing past dittany was not Hermione's specialty.

Sliding into her covers, she mourned the sound of the ocean splashing in the background.

And suddenly her mind was wandering to what it might have been like to sleep in that rustic four-poster bed in Severus's room again. Merlin knows he had offered, yet she no longer had any right to him.  It wasn't like she didn't like him. Besides, she didn't want to hurt him. Or that's what she kept telling herself, and most of the time it worked to make sure she didn't rely on the fact he could find a cure.

However, when she was lonely in her cold sheets, having just talked about partners and lovers the entire evening... it was hard not to want him. Hermione cared too much for her reputation, or a one night stand might just go far enough to keep her lonely heart from aching so heavily. Not that there was a single bloody wizard in sight who would do such a thing knowing she'd been with Severus however brief that was.

Hermione turned over in her covers, pulling them up to her neck, a warming charm in place of the arms she wished were cradled around her.

A/N

Someone asked me to update, so here it is! We'll be getting along with things soon.