Reach Above and Beyond

Unsaid

You are loved.

You are worth it.

Don't let any tell you,

That you are worthless.

They may yell a slew,

Of profanities, insults,

And call you terrible things.

Just ignore them;

Don't let them strip you of your wings.

But I can't,

I want to scream out.

They say sticks and stones,

Can break my bones,

But they don't realize that,

Words hurt just as much.

But I wish,

It wasn't such.

They cut and slash me,

Deep within my soul.

For I have let them have power,

Over me so long ago.

I regret it.

I hate it.

Everything I did to quell this pain,

Makes me feel so sick.

I pretended that I was still the same,

In order to save face.

I pretended that nothing had happened,

So that my friends would give me space.

But in reality,

I wanted them to come.

I wanted them to ask me,

And beg for me to tell them why.

Maybe then,

I might finally break down and cry.

Nothing seemed to work,

To provide me some sense of relief.

I tried making my scars visible,

In hopes that the ones within,

Would stop burning.

That did nothing,

But make me regret my actions more.

Why have I let myself become this thing,

This empty shell that I abhor.

I hate myself,

For giving up so soon.

I should have asked for help,

Under that pale blue moon.

Instead of keeping my feelings hidden,

I should have said them out loud.

I'm not proud,

Of what I've done.

I'm not proud,

Because I decided to get up and run,

Away from my fears.

I should have faced them,

When they first appeared.

But here I am,

Still yet another coward.

I want to slam,

My head against the wall.

Maybe then I'll finally realize,

When I started to fall.

I let those words control me,

Mold me into what I hated.

Why did I have to succumb to my insecurities?

Why do I feel so frustrated?

This situation is spiraling out of control,

And out of my reach.

I try to resist that urge,

And I try to hide that bottle of bleach.

Temptation beckons me to not be rational,

That I have everything I ever wanted within reach.

Shut up.

Shut up,

I don't want to listen to that little devil on my shoulder anymore.

Because of it,

I let them pluck every single feather,

Strip me into a flightless bird.

Why didn't I fight back?

Is it because I believe so much in that word?

I can't be worthless.

I can't be not worth a dime.

I need to give myself,

Some more time.

I can't make rash decisions,

When I'm not in the right state of mind.

I need to find,

Myself again.

Maybe then,

I'll finally understand,

What I really want.

I won't listen anymore to their taunts.

I won't let them goad me,

Into hurting myself anymore.

I'll be who I was before.

I don't care what they think, do, or say.

I'll make them listen to me,

At the end of the day.

I won't let these desperate words,

Be lost again.

I won't let them be unsaid,

Ever again.