[42] Shatter • Logicality

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warnings: crying, self deprecation, stress, pretending not to or trying to convince oneself that one doesn't have emotions, yes it's logan angst

happy ending :)

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Logan stared around at the other sides, all smiling and joking with one another. How did this happen every goddamn time? They were supposed to be focusing on an issue, and he was the only one who seemed to remember it.

"Thomas-" He tried to cut in, but was silenced by his host laughing at something Roman had said. Logan took a deep breath, one hand moving to grip the rail of the stairs as he tried to relax.

He thought he saw Virgil glance at him out of the corner of his eye, but the emo said nothing. The thought that it was because he didn't care went through the logical side's head before he could stop it, and his grip tightened significantly. Emotions were so bothersome at times.

"Would everyone please stop talking so we can concentrate on the problem again?" Logan said, trying to speak more loudly, but if anyone heard his voice they ignored it. He drew another deep breath, although it was much more shaky compared to the first.

If Logan wasn't listened to, he had no purpose. If he had no purpose, he would fade, and although he didn't want that, maybe everyone else would be better off if he wasn't- no. Fuck. He wasn't supposed to be thinking like that.

He moved both hands to take his glasses off and then held them in his left hand while massaging his eyes with his right. This wasn't supposed to be so difficult. Why couldn't the other sides just listen to him for once? Did they really dislike him that- and there his brain went again. That wasn't necessarily true.

Logan swallowed against the lump in his throat and put his glasses back on, opening his eyes and looking around at the others. Was there any surefire way to get them to listen? He couldn't just scream at them; losing his temper had never gone well in the past. He always ended up apologizing without much of a chance to explain what had made him upset. The trait folded his arms over his chest as anger boiled in his gut.

To his horror, his vision blurred a mere ten seconds after he had gone back to watching the sides all joking with each other. They don't need or want you around, he thought to himself, and had to clap a hand over his mouth as a choked sob forced it's way out of his throat.

Logan was just thinking that he would hopefully be able to sink out before anyone else noticed his frustrated tears when he lifted his gaze and locked eyes with Patton, who had gone silent compared to everyone else. When Virgil realized Patton wasn't talking anymore he followed his gaze, and Roman followed Virgil's, and Thomas followed Roman's, until everyone in the room was staring at the side still crying as silently as he could.

"Logan...?" Virgil asked softly, scanning him with an immeasurable amount of concern. Logan's breath stuck in his throat and he took his hand away from his mouth. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself and stared at the ground as tears kept rolling down his face.

"L, what's wrong?" Virgil continued, taking a step closer and almost pressing himself against the railing between them. Logan didn't trust his own voice enough to even try and answer his question- not that he knew what he would say if it had been steady. He just shook his head silently, biting down hard on his lip to try and keep any more sobs from coming out.

Patton took a step towards him and Logan took a step back in response, shaking his head hastily. He sank down before anyone could say anything else. The last thing he saw was the concern on Morality's face.

When Logan appeared in his room his legs felt wobbly, and it only took a second before they gave out and his knees hit the floor. He hardly felt the pain from that as he sat back on his heels, trying to remember what had even happened back there. It was weirdly foggy for being only a minute ago.

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