Living With The Bad Boy [COMPLETE][VERSION ONE]

Chapter 22

My mother wants me to skip school the next day, a strange reversal of our usual positions. She keeps telling me that I need rest and that I stayed up way too late last night (if only she knew), but we're starting a lab today in Advanced Chemistry and I have a Trig test.

Plus I'm fine. Totally fine. The hospital wouldn't have sent me home if I wasn't fine.

Right?

I just can't seem to get the smell of smoke out of my brain, like it's been seared into my nostrils or something. Connie makes pancakes for breakfast and I can't even focus on the smell of butter and sugar wafting into the kitchen. All I can think about is how easily the pan could catch on fire. I focus on taking deep breaths. The house is not going to go up in flames. Everything is fine. I'm fine. When I see an text alert break through the darkness of my phone screen, I'm overwhelmed with relief for the distraction.

Noah: leaving in 20

see you soon & get excited bc i have a surprise for you

I put my phone back into my pocket and try to force myself not to look over at Jase. Last night was... well, it doesn't feel real, even now, like the memories are hazy and blurred. Like they never even happened at all. And Jase isn't exactly doing much to make the whole thing more real- he's been ignoring me all morning, reaching around me for the coffee pot almost like I didn't exist. Even now as he gets up from the table, the last person to leave excluding me, I don't get so much as a glance. I have to admit, it does sting a little bit, even though it never really meant anything anyways. Him driving me. He was just doing it because his mom told him to, and besides, I have Noah now, anyway. Noah doesn't drop me off 15 minutes away from school because he doesn't want to be seen with me.

I get up to take my plate back to the kitchen and almost smack straight into Jase as he turns the corner, but we both back up at the same time. "Are you coming, Red?" he asks, still not looking at me. "We're going to be late if you don't hurry up."

Is this Jase's way of asking if I want a ride? Because I thought it was somewhat agreed upon that we didn't do that anymore. Though, I guess we're 'friends' now or whatever.

Why does this all have to be so confusing?

"Yeah, give me five minutes," I mutter, darting away to put my books in my backpack. A flash of guilt shivers through me, thinking of Noah, of how he was supposed to pick me up. But I really don't want him to have to go out of his way when Jase can just take me with him...

I unlock my phone and text Noah back:

Dw about getting me. Had to go in early for math. CU in class!

I press send and feel the guilt that's been welling up inside me peak, sending hot flashes of what feels like actual pain through my chest like I've just been dropped from a 5 story building. I need to grip the counter for support, some primitive, stupid part inside of me afraid that if I let go, the guilt will break me apart like grains of sand on a windy day.

But there's no reason for me to feel bad. At all.

So then why did I lie?

"You know, you do have to talk to me eventually. We literally live in the same house, ignoring me isn't going to work."

"I'm not ignoring you," Jase responds coldly, his face still looking away from me and out the window as he steers the car around a bend. "I'm just not feeling very talkative."
"Jase... I have literally never once in my life seen you not in a talkative mood. As your friend," I say, emphasizing the word to remind him, "I want to know what's going on."

"What do you think is wrong?" he asks, annoyance edging into his voice. I shrink back instinctively. "I just told you something I don't tell anybody and it was insanely stupid of me."