Living With The Bad Boy [COMPLETE][VERSION ONE]

Chapter 33

Disclaimer: Two things. A) some of the topics in this chapter are a bit more mature. There's nothing too bad but if you don't want to hear about teenagers doing party drugs, I suggest skipping to the next chapter and B) apologies in advance if any of this seems unrealistic- fun fact, I've never actually been to a party at a club underage with a bunch of rich kids in Virginia haha

I'm doing this. I'm really doing this. I think about it all the way out to the car, all the way until I'm numbly sitting in the backseat with Mayah as Jase puts the key in the ignition and starts driving.

I'm really doing this. I'm really about to go to a party where rich people get drunk and high and do... whatever else rich people do. That fact alone would be enough to make my palms sweat, but my anxiety is heightened to an almost sickening amount when I realize everything I've just done in the last day, the conflicting feelings in my heart, the two boys fighting for the prime spot.

There's Noah, who's done everything right, who's been perfect and caring and sweet, but I just don't... feel a spark with.

Then there's Jase. The boy who shouldn't even be allowed a place in my heart at all, but somehow has managed to fit himself in there.

And I just broke up with Noah, so... I guess there's no competition anymore.

Oh my god. I just broke up with Noah. As much as I've been trying not to think about it, the realization sends the memory floating back through my head, the absolute trainwreck of a breakup that was. I meant to try to spare his feelings, but I ended up just confusing him- and myself- in the process. I know, I know that none of this is fair to Noah, that I did the right thing by ending it before I ended up stringing him along further, that Jase or no Jase, he just... doesn't set me on fire, paint the sky red, bring me on a rollercoaster of ups and downs and back and forths...

But do I even want that? Shouldn't I just want what's good, what's right, what's safe?

Nothing about this, not Jase, not this party, not my fragile friendship with Mayah, is safe. And yet I'm clutching onto it like it's my last hope.

What if I'm making the wrong decision? What if it's all wrong? What if I'm wrong? What if-

I hear the screech of the car tires as Jase pulls off the road, muttering something about getting gas before stepping out of the car, but at this point, I'm too anxious to notice anything around me. At least until I feel a light buzzing against my thigh, and look down to see a new text alert:

Jase: breathe, red.

Jase: u can still back out if you want, you know

Jase: the blood contract has yet to be signed

Me: I want to do this. I swear

Jase: well then what are we waiting for? We have a party to get to :)

I look out the window to see Jase casually holding the nozzle of the gas pump, resting against the car and most definitely not looking at me, but his grip is still firmly tightened around his cell phone, and there's a small smirk at the corners of his mouth.

"Are you sure you two haven't been hooking up?" Mayah asks, and her words are enough to jarr me out of my daze.

"Mayah. No. God no."

I turn away from my window as if to prove to her that I'm not looking over at Jase. "You look amazing, by the way. Cody Chasen won't be able to take his eyes off of you."

And it's true. Mayah's wearing a tight black dress with thick straps and she's gotten new braids, these ones a vibrant pink that melts back into her naturally dark hair.