Chapter 6: A Friend?

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Ithilwens pov.

Glancing at the moon I could tell that I still had a few hours until the sun blessed us with its presence. I was not too far from our camp resting by a river washing off the evidence of my recent activities. My armor hung on the branch beside me slowly drying in the cold night air. This left me in my brown undershirt and leather leggings. There was a cool breeze that swept along the river and with the breeze came the never-ending chorus of the night. Laying down on the bank I closed my eyes to listen to the melody in hopes of drowning out my frustration of what I did at the camp, ...it failed miserably.

In my life I have grown used to what others thought of me, I could handle the hate, the resentment but the one emotion that struck me down to the core was their fear. The fear of my past actions caused them to be scared of my every move. So I left my past in the tales parents tell their children to obey them. Being feared is not what I wanted, so when I saw the pure fear in poor little Bilbo's eyes I almost shattered. It hurt to realize that I was what scared him, and the dwarves... did not even hesitate to draw arms against me. Anger coursed through my veins but just as fast as it came, I would not harm them... I could not.

Rising to my feet I went to retrieve my horse but stumbled into a tree. Pain hit my head as the suppressed memories of fear-stricken faces rushed back to me. My breathing became uneven causing my heart to speed up, knees buckled under me causing me to catch myself on a protruding root from the tree. This had to stop, I will not lose control. I had to cut off the source of the panic and fear from coming. I dug my nails into my arms, drawing blood that rolled down off my arms onto the tree.

"I will not lose control, I am needed..."

Turning to face the tree I kneeled and rested my head against the tree. Repeating the sentence until the memories were replaced with happier things. "Why did he come to me...' I whispered to myself, I slammed my fist against the innocent tree, '... He knew I am not stable yet... there must be a reason... he always has a reason."

Standing I looked at the moon, warmth filled my heart and soul, it felt as if arms were wrapped around me protecting me. "I made a promise to Gandalf and I do not intend to let this stop me."

The warm protective feeling started to leave as the moon moved the sky. A rare smile graced my lips as I remembered happier times, whispering a heartfelt thank you to the spirit I washed the blood from my arms and hands retrieved my loyal steed Dusan who nudged my shoulder with his snout.

I pet his face, "Thank you for your patience

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I pet his face, "Thank you for your patience..." As I was finishing up I could hear a faint voice drifting on the breeze.

1)"Na lu e-govaned uin..."

2)"N'i lu tol."

Packing my armor on Dusan's saddle I grabbed his reins and led the way through the bush until the other ponies and horse could be seen. Knowing that he would stay close by I undid his saddle and bridle. This will be one of the last relaxing nights he would get for a few months. Looking over the company I could see that all but one dwarf was asleep. I assumed that he was the one chosen for the first watch, that or he had much on his mind. Carrying my armor I walked to the fire placing it on a rock and threw a few more logs on the dying fire, making sure to not wake any of the company, then made my way back to the cliff edge.

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