Find me

Unknown

Sanem and Can drove to the studio in silence, being together felt surreal and they were still very cautious around one another. He parked in the underground garage.

S: ''I'm sorry...'' she said quietly. Can turned toward her while undoing his seatbelt.

C: ''why?'' he asked gently.

Tears were forming in her eyes, ''I thought... when I dreamt of our reunion, I thought things would get back to normal but I feel...'' she paused.

C: ''like a stranger?'' he asked concerned.

S: '' no! no!'' she turned to him, ''I feel... shy!''

Can smiled, it wasn't as bad a feeling as he feared and he had faced shy Sanem before and broken her pretty quick. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

C: ''we take our time then ok?'' She nodded, ''but you must remember how much I love you Sanem, I love you more than life.''

S: ''I love you too.'' She was crying and he pulled her into his arms for a hug.

C: ''Let's go up, I'll make tea!''

S: ''no I will...''

He smiled, ''I was really hoping you'd say that!'' they giggled and jumped out of the car, holding onto each other's side.

Sanem immediately noticed that nothing had changed inside the studio in the last year, not one picture had been removed or added, the books piled up on the coffee table were the same and whatever he was working on then was still on his working bench. Can figured what she was thinking and turned around awkwardly.

C: ''I haven't been here much since...''

S: ''since I died...''

C: ''don't say that please...'' he pulled her into his arms again, ''never... never again please...'' he kissed the top of her head and tried to rain his emotions.

S: ''sit, I'll get tea.'' Sanem put both glasses on the coffee table and sat against him in the sofa.

S: ''my parents... they knew... but...''

C: ''I read your diaries back in Mersin, I know why you had to.''

S: ''in Mersin?'' Can told Sanem everything, the book he found on Ajda's desk, his trip to Mersin, stepping into her flat, he talked for over an hour.

C: ''so yeah! I know they threatened you... I also know about your dad getting hit by a car when you sent me the letter...'' he looked down, taking a big breath, ''... I just wish your parents had said something, I would have found a way...''

S: ''I know... that's why I told them never to tell you the truth... you would have never stopped looking, who knows what could have happened to them if you had come close to me Can...'' her tears were back, ''I am so sorry please don't blame them!''

C: ''I understand baby... I just wish...'' he squeezed his arms around her, ''I missed you so much Sanem, I... I wanted to die'' he whispered, '' I thought maybe I could meet you on the other side.''

Sanem realised with horror what her husband had thought of doing out of pain and despair; she placed both her hands on his face and pulled his lip to hers. It was a tender kiss, as if she was breathing life inside him again; Can licked her top lip and deepened the kiss. He fell backward and pulled her along. They kissed for a long time, his hands were travelling on her back, under her shirt. He would sometime stop to smell her and drop kisses on her jawline and neck. They were quickly falling back into their old habits, their hands knowing where to rest and pause on each other's body.