Over The Edge

Coming Out

A/N
I do not own any of these characters nor the Harry Potter universe. They all belong to JK Rowling. *TW self harm*
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Harry had had lots of time to think this over, he had gone to the library, payed more attention to his observations, looked stuff up online, etc etc. And Harry Potter was fairly sure he was gay. Utterly and irrevocably gay. He was kinda freaked about the whole thing but he knew, at least, that he had to tell people. He decided that he would do it at dinner the next day.

So he waited. He walked around all day, rather jittery, and was unusually quiet. As dinner approached he just closed more into himself.

Finally it was dinner and so Harry sat through it. It was both fast and unbearably slow and then before he knew it. Dinner was over. He had missed his chance.

And so it went on like this for the rest of the week. Then the next. And then finally, two days before they had to leave for Hogwarts, he finally just did it. After dessert had been set on the table, Harry stood up and said quickly

"I have to tell all of you something"

Everyone was staring at him expectedly as he tried to find the words.

"Go on then dear," Ms Weasley said in a soothing tone. "I'm sure whatever it is will be alright" 

Harry smiled at her thankfully. It was just what he needed to hear. He turned back to the table and blurted out:

"Imprettysurethatimgay"

Everyone stared at him for a second and then Ron broke the silence by saying
"blimey mate is that all? That's great!"

At that almost everyone started laughing and Harry sat down. The rest of the dinner was very comfortable with people congratulating him and cracking jokes and the like. Harry thought that it was amazing that everyone was just so, accepting! In the muggle world people weren't near as accepting as they were, None the less he loved all of them there for accepting him as he is.

After dinner finished, Ron and Hermione went upstairs and Sirius pulled Harry over.

Sirius looked at Harry very seriously and said
" I'm proud of you Harry. So very proud. I know how hard this must have been for you and I'm honoured you trusted us all enough to share that with us."  Sirius smirked. "Now go find yourself a lad off at Hogwarts to snog Eh?" He laughed.

Harry laughed to and hugged Sirius.

"Thanks" He whispered quietly into Sirius' chest. Sirius smiled, kissed the top of his head, and ruffled his hair.

"No problem kiddo"

Harry ran upstairs to join Hermione and Ron and he spent his last free night of summer vacation, he'd have to pack the next day, talking and laughing and playing around with his best friends.

Around midnight they got pretty serious and started asking him questions about his sexuality and how he knew and such but over all it was a really good night.

Hermione ended up going back to her room around two and him and Ron fell asleep not long after, tired out after the exciting events of the day.

The next morning Harry woke up around noon and went down for a late brunch that Ms Weasley had made up, and then went straight back upstairs to pack up his trunk.

He had all his supplies as Ms Weasley had gone out and bought it for him while he was at the ministry for the trial. They had also discovered a few days earlier that Hermione and, surprisingly, Ron, had been made prefects. When Ms Weasley had found out she'd just about thrown a fit in here happiness, and Ron has gotten a shiny new broom for it.

Harry was just finishing putting most of his things in his trunk when a wave of, something, passed over him. It was so strong he had to sit down for a second. He slowly laid down on his bed and breathed deeply. He felt the numbness beginning to take over again and that's when he realized the something was a wave of sadness. That he couldn't control. So he welcomed the numb again. He tried to distract himself from the new sadness but couldn't find anything to do so he went downstairs to help Ms Weasley with dinner.

She got him cutting the potatoes for her while she went and cleaned up a bit and so he started dicing them into neat enough cubes to be roasted.

Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and suddenly the knife slipped through his hands and cut his palm. He screwed his eyes shut waiting for the pain to set in, but it never did.

In fact it almost felt. Good. Like a release. Harry stood there for a few seconds marvelling at how it felt and then cleaned himself up and went back to chopping the potatoes.

But he couldn't get the memory of how it felt out of his head. Later that night he laid in bed and replayed it over and over, fingering the cut absentmindedly.

He had to try that again.