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*・。*゜・。・o゜・。*゜・。・o*゜・。・o*
I wished I was just exhausted. I wish I just overworked myself too much that I collapsed and ended up on the hospital for dehydration and not enough sleep. But things never turned out the way we always wish it to be.
The doctors found out that I was already at stage two on a disease that should have been found out earlier and treated just as quickly as it came. Fate had been nothing but a pain in the ass when they told me I should be rushed to whatever treatments are available for as fast as possible, and to have hope that I would still be a fully functioning healthy human living peacefully on earth with a complete family, and the best boyfriend in the world.
But no sprinkle of bliss came and it became much worse over the days.
You know how short days feels like forever when you miss someone? Well, to me, I had to make up an excuse to be gone for a whole month which felt like an eternity. Not just because I miss everyone so bad—but because my body felt like it was giving up with me. The fever always coming to me every other day as if it was never really gone, losing my appetite and weight rapidly, and throwing up every chance I get with sweat pouring out of my body and in minutes could look like I bathe in a pool with all my clothes on.
The thing is, I couldn't hide it anymore. No matter what I do, it would keep getting worse and worse and my excuse of visiting my Mom on the outskirts of Sydney was not buyable anymore—so, that became the reason why I had to break his heart.
Luke Hemmings never knew the real reason why I broke his heart, and I prefer it stay that way.
I... can never imagine the look on his face if he knew about my disease. One that's been eating me up every morning I wake up—or if I ever slept through thinking of it at all. I could never imagine the things he'd give up just to take care of me, things that he had worked so hard for and throw away just for a girl who's bound to die anyway. I would never... want to see the look on his face if he look at my bright blue eyes that already turned dull and grey, with no hope left to live, and on the brink of giving it all up because she can't take it anymore.
I couldn't see Luke Hemmings get hurt, and I don't want him to be sad when I die.
So, I did what I had to do before it even starts.
Break his heart and offer no explanation as to why. His career was at its peak, and I knew the only way for him to take it easily is if I do it fast, and not a single tear to be shed. I had to look heartless, I had to do it, for him. Whether or not he'll understand? I never cared anymore. I never want him to see me plead to make everything stop, never want him to see me lose every sanity I have left, and never want him to see me staring at the horizon with nothing left to live for.
