Catch Me

Chapter 21

     I trudged my way to Will's office, feeling more and more miserable at my workplace. My heart was heavy as I thought about what this place took away from me. Even though the SSI was the reason why I met Kyle, it was also what snatched him away from me and now I dreaded work. Every time I stepped into the SSI I felt sick to my stomach and I was beginning to realize something.

     Reaching Will's office, I stepped inside and saw him sitting behind his desk. He was scrolling though his phone and I shut the door behind me, and Will looked up at me. I went to sit in the seat across from him and I sighed lightly, hoping the meeting would be short and sweet.

     "Are you okay?" Will asked, catching me off guard.

     I stared at Will for a moment, wondering why he'd ask that when the answer was clear. And the worst part was Will was the reason for my misery.

     "No. I'm not okay," I said, glaring at Will. "I've been absolutely miserable since you told Kyle the truth."

     "I was only looking out for you," Will said quietly, looking drained. I noticed the deep bags beneath his eyes and the way his face paled. Will looked like he was suffering as well, but I couldn't sympathize. Not when he was the one who caused this. "I did this to protect you and one day you'll understand this."

     "You did not do this to protect me. You were being selfish and you ruined my life for your own happiness. You were jealous. Face it Will. You were jealous and that's why you did this."

     Will flinched from the way I spat my words at him. No longer did I try to be civil. After what I dealt with the last few weeks, I didn't have it in me to hide how I truly felt.

     "Kyle would have found out the truth eventually," Will said. "One day, things would have fallen apart anyways. I just quickened up the process."

     "And you did it in the worst way ever," I said. "Kyle wasn't ready to hear the truth. We just got together and... And if I were to tell him the truth, I would have made sure things didn't end up like this. I wouldn't have thrown it in his face and made it seem like I was some sort of villain who'd been plotting on landing him in jail."

     "Are you sure Kyle would have forgiven you though? What you did would hurt anyone. Are you sure things would have been different?"

     I stared at Will, feeling a sort of hatred build up within me. A sort of anger I had never felt and I wondered what was getting into me. I wasn't an angry person. I wasn't someone who'd ever hate someone. And as I thought back to the last few weeks where I cried myself to sleep every night and how Will was the cause of this, a realization suddenly dawned on me. Suddenly, I realized what I needed to do.

     "You're right," I said. Will's eyes widened and it was clear he didn't expect that. "And that's why I'm going to fix this."

     I stood up and stepped back, and Will stared at me with his eyebrows furrowed. He looked both confused and concerned, and I gulped as I realized this was it. This was the start of a new life.

     "I'm quitting the SSI," I said. "I no longer want to be a spy and I will be resigning."

     "What?" Will said, freezing.

     I stared at him for a moment, taking in the shocked look he wore. He stared at me as if I had murdered his parents, as if I told him I was dying in an hour, and I smiled. For once, after everything Will took away from me, I felt like I had an edge over him.

     "You heard me," I said. "I'm quitting."

     "Why?" Will asked, standing up as well. "Why would you quit being a spy? Why would you do that to yourself."

     "Because Kyle means so much more to me than this organization that never believed in me. I have spent four years working here and not once have I ever been respected or valued enough to be given my own mission until you guys were forced to give me one," I said. "Kyle has always believed in me, always cared about me and loved me for who I am. The SSI and you have done nothing but devalue me and more than anything, hurt me just to ensure this mission is completed by telling Kyle the truth. I'm done with this place. I'm done with you."

     I was panting a bit, feeling like my entire heart was being dragged out on display. All these years I had felt so devalued, so worthless working at the SSI and my heart was finally realizing it. I was finally owning up to it and I felt powerful. As I took control of my life, for the first time ever I felt confident in my abilities.

     "You can't be serious," Will said, looking like he'd been slapped. "You're being irrational Clarissa. You can't just quit."

     I pulled my badge out of my pocket and tossed it onto Will's desk. He stared at it with a pained look and I gave him a smug look, letting him now just how official this was.

     "I am," I said. "It was nice knowing you Will, but it's time for me to move on."

     I turned to leave, but Will then said, "I'm going to send all of SSI to hunt down Kyle. This is war Clarissa. You've made me mad."

     I froze and turned back slowly, feeling as if I hadn't heard Will right. But when my eye's met Will's, I realized he was being dead serious.

     "Why?" I asked, trying to sound unfazed. "I'm quitting. Kyle didn't do anything wrong."

     "But Kyle is the reason why you're doing this. He's the reason why you've changed and become... become like this," Will said, his eyes burning into me. "You brought this onto him and we're going to arrest Kyle now. Whether or not we have proof of his crimes, we're arresting him. Have fun not having a job or boyfriend, Clarissa."

      Will pulled out his phone and when I heard him say Steven's name, my heart dropped. As he then told Steven that they need to hunt down Kyle immediately, I didn't think twice before whirling around and running, knowing I needed to warn Kyle. And when I heard Will shout game on, I pushed myself even faster, knowing Will would do everything in his power to ruin my life.

*****

     I banged my fists against Kyle's door and screamed for him to open. I screamed how it's serious, how he was in danger, of how this wasn't a joke and that he needed to come out right now. And to my lucky stars, I nearly fell forward when Kyle threw his door open.

     "What do you want?" Kyle asked, sighing heavily.

     "This isn't a joke. I'm not here to beg for you to take me back," I said. "The entire SSI team is coming for you. They want to arrest you immediately, even without proof, because Will's mad at me. We have to get out of here now!"

     "Shit." Kyle stormed into his room and I stepped in, watching as he threw a few of his items into a bag and scurried over. "I knew this wouldn't last."

     "I'm so sorry."

    Kyle walked back to me, his face full of worry lines and I felt my heart sink. Ever since I came into Kyle's life, I made it harder and harder, and I was beginning to realize what a burden I was. I grew emotional, but then I reminded myself that Will was on his way and composed myself.

     "Come on, let's get out of this place," I said. "We'll drive to the next city. My car."

     "Okay," Kyle said, closing the door behind him as we stepped out of his place. "Let's go."

     Kyle and I ran down the stairs of the hotel and we went straight to my car. Neither of us spoke as we jumped in and I drove off. Kyle didn't ask any questions or details, but instead sat in silence at my side as I drove us to where I prayed would be safe.

     And as I drove, I found my heart pounding. As I wondered what to do and how I would protect Kyle at all costs, I wondered what I could do. I didn't expect things to come to this and I was now left both stressed and worried as I wondered if it was even possible to save Kyle from his fate.