Hate is a strong word.
It has an impact on people. I don't intend to use it. Kapag nagagalit ako there's only two things that I do; first, I write it then put it in a bottle and throw it to the coast. Second, I whisper it with the wind, the breeze flies away my negative then I'm all happy again.
Simple.
I guess.
Iba-iba ang tao sa pag-handle ng emotion, lalo na ang galit. Dad likes to curse. Mom shouts. All my Kuya's jaw's clench and punch something. We all need to cope up with it.
Papa and Mama, on the other hand, has the most different way of coping with anger. They flew back here after the incident just to slap Ate Harper tapos ay umalis na rin. Naaawa na tuloy ako kay Ate, mabait naman siya, alam ko ring hirap na hirap na siya sa position niya.
Ilang linggo na rin ang nakalipas magmula nung kasal nila pero parang walang pagbabago. Pumupunta parin kasi sila Kuya dito para maginom sa may dagat tapos uuwi ng gabi, gusto ko siya kausapin kaso ayoko namang makialam. I've seen Ate Harper after the wedding, on our mandatory Sunday dinner, at tahimik lang siya dahil sa mga parinig nila Tita.
They're being mean kahit na kinausap ko na sila. She didn't know, it wasn't her fault, don't make it hard on her than it already is, and all of that. Pero mas mahirap pala magsaway sa matanda kaysa bata kasi sa prinsipyo nila. I get it but I just wish it would stop, kawawa na si Ate.
I was busy practicing my archery when Nanay said someone's at the kubo, it's where guests usually go kapag ayaw pumasok, malayo palang alam ko ng si Ate Harper iyon dahil sa buhok.
"Ate!" Masayang sabi ko, she isn't. Her eyes puffy with dark rounds circles and she's pale. "Hala! Ate, okay ka lang po ba?"
Inabutan ko siya ng tubig. Nagpasalamat siya. Umupo ako sa tabi niya. "Wala po dito si Kuya pero galing po siya dito kanina dinalahan niya po ako ng siomai."
"I didn't came here for him, para sayo sana." She sniffed. Hindi na ako nagsalita. Alam kong mas importante ang sasabihin niya. "I really am sorry for what happened at the wedding, Atalia, alam kong nasaktan kita wag ka naman sanang magalit sa akin."
Humagulgol siya habang hawak-hawak ang kamay ko. Ang totoo, hindi naman ako galit. I was never. "It's okay, Ate, hindi naman ako galit."
"I-I thought... I thought you were." She sniffed, binigyan ko siya ng tissue at ngumiti.
"I wasn't," I shrugged. "I was hurt. It's different."
"I know! And I'm really sorry!" Umiyak siya lalo. Niyakap ko siya, inalo para tumahan. I was happy and sad at the same time, masaya ako dahil may chance na akong magkaroon ng ate and sad kasi malungkot siya. "I know how important you are to Alaric, nagkamali lang talaga ako."
"We all make bad decisions sometimes what matter is how we get out of it."
Hate and forgiveness are inversed with each other. Hate makes you do unforgivable things while forgivness makes you heal. It's your choice to choose.
"I can't believe you're young." sabi niya. Inayos niya ang kanyang magandang buhok, nakakainggit ito, sakin kasi kulay brown tapos kulot-kulot. "If it makes it any better, I'd like to take you out."
I hissed. I have a competition next week and I need to practice. "I'm actually practicing Archery, do you want to try it with me?"
Ate looked uneasy. Based from Kuya Ae, she's fashion consultant based in Paris. He's really snoopy. "I-I don't know how to."
Hinila ko siya pabalik sa garden where I was practicing. Binigyan ko siya ng arm guard, bow, and arrow. There's five cork board in front at nagsimula na kaming dalawa. She's a natural! Sabi niya hindi siya marunong but she hit 3 more bullseye than me! Wow!
