Onceler x Bill Cipher x Alastor

Chapter 1: The Holy Trinity

(Haiiii X3 *glomps u*)

[Okay real shit I'm just doing this bc I need to write a crackhead fic]

Bill woke up fully clothed and wrapped in his black bed sheets. But he soon realized he was not in his bed. He was on the floor of an unfamiliar house. It was much too normal to be his. Deciding to investigate, Bill unwrapped himself from the cocoon of satin and stumbled out the dark oak door. 

Immediately he was greeted with a panicked man in a green suit shaking a grinning man in a red suit. He squinted his eye at them.

"Uh... Who are you?" Bill was absolutely confused, as these two had a similar energy to him: chaotic, but deliberately so. The red one spoke first.

"Ah, hello! My name is Alastor! And you are?" His grin did not fade as he was being shaken, which slightly bothered Bill.

"I'm Bill. Bill Cipher... Uh... Who is your friend over there?"

"Oh, I don't know him!" Alastor turned back to the green man. "Good sir! Sir-! Sir please stop shaking me I want to ask you something!"

"What could you possibly need at a time like this?!"

"What is your name?"

"My name?! Oh. My name," The green man stopped shaking Alastor. "I'm the Onceler."

"His name is Onceler!" Alastor turned back to Bill, who was bewildered. 

"Yea, uh... I got that... Do you know where we are?"

"No!" The other two yelled in unison, Alastor's happy tone conflicting with the Onceler's returned panic.

"Oh great! So we're all complete strangers in an unknown location! This is gonna be great!" Bill was being obviously sarcastic, but his tone was lost on the smiling strawberry pimp.

"Indeed! It will be a swell time!" Alastor wriggled his way out of the Onceler's grip with optimism. Bill sighed, knowing that this was going to certainly be an odd experience.

[Okay mothers and fuckers alike, I'm sorry for making this exist]