Synthetic

Chapter 16

"C-Chris?"

I turned to face Ricky, and saw him looking awkward in the suit I'd given him. It was more expensive than the one I'd brought him originally, but this one actually fit him. "Yes baby?" He looked down, like he was mentally preparing himself before he asked the one question I never expected him to ask.

"What happened to Jared?"

Of all the fucking things he could've asked, he had to ask this. "It doesn't matter." I replied bluntly, walking away. He didn't follow me, and honestly?  I didn't care. I was kinda worried about him, but he obviously wants to be alone. I sat down on my sofa and called Ashley up, sighing.

"Hello?"
"Hey Ash."
"What's up Chris? You sound...weird."
"Yeah I-I let Ricky call me my real name...Ash I love him. I'm in love with my fucking pet..." I said, laughing bitterly.
"Chris that's not a bad thing y'know?"

She had a point, but I didn't see it that way. I felt bad for all the shit I'd done, I thought I didn't have a heart. I thought that there was nothing in my rib cage, that emptiness is safe. But when I met him, all my views changed. I changed.

"But I can't tell him. I mean of course I can't tell him yet."
"Yet. You can't tell him yet."
"I just don't know anything anymore. My perspective of everything has changed..."
"What do you mean?" She asked, alarm evident in her voice.
"I'm a monster...and I'm in love with him..." I heard a strangled gasp and dropped the phone, my eyes widening. Ricky was stood at the doorway, looking like I'd just torn his heart out.

"Ricky wait!" I blurted, jumping up and I was about to go to him, but he took the collar off and ran outside. My eyes widened and I tried tuning after him, but I couldn't find him. I felt my heart shatter as I walked inside and picked up the collar.

I stood in the middle of my living room, unable to move. I heard Ashley's shouts through the speaker of my phone and I didn't do anything. I just dropped to my knees, and stayed there. My tears ran down my face and for a moment, I marvelled in the feeling of tears rolling down my face. I didn't cry.

I never cried. Crying was something I never did, I always stayed strong. But when I lost Ricky, I lost the only person keeping me strong.

And after that, I let out a loud sob, I didn't mean to. But I'd lost the man I loved, and he didn't even know I loved him. I dropped fully to the floor and cried into my knees, feeling more vulnerable and alone than ever before.

-Ashley-

"I'm a monster...and I'm in love with him..." I opened my mouth to reply to Chris, to tell him he wasn't a monster. But all I heard after was him shouting, telling Ricky to wait. And then?

Then he started crying. "CHRIS!? CHRIS WHATS GOING ON!? CHRIS IM WORRIED TELL ME WHATS GOING ON!" I shouted into the phone. I didn't get a reply after 5 minutes, I heard a thud a few moments before that, and I was really fucking worried about him.

He never cried. I hung up the phone and Nikki looked at me anxiously, frowning and walking towards me. "Ashley? Baby what's wrong?"
"Chris..." I said, tears springing up into my eyes. Instantly, his eyes hardened and he hurriedly got dressed, me and Ange following. Within about a minute, we left and we were in the car. "What happened Ash?"
"He said he was a monster a-and that he loved Ricky...and then he shouted telling Ricky to wait..then he started crying..."

"Fuck." Nikki groaned, his hands tightening convulsively on the wheel. "What was his exact words Mistress?" Angelo whispered, fearfully. And
"He said...Um 'I'm a monster and I'm in love with him.'"
"Oh damn. Ricky might've misinterpreted who Chris was on about..."
"Ange what do you mean?"
"He's in love with Chris. He just won't tell him." Nikki swore and drove quicker.

Within five minutes, we were outside Chris' house. Normally it's a half an hour journey, but I don't think either of us cared about breaking a few speed limits. Nikki ran inside and I started looking outside, trying to figure out where Ricky could've gone. I wanted to see if Chris was okay, but I needed to find Ricky first. I'll probably get Angelo to look after Ricky in the car afterwards, that way I can make sure Chris is okay.

Eventually, when I'd walked half a mile from the mansion, I heard soft sobbing. I focused and listened until I glanced at a bush, which was where the source of the sound was coming from. I walked up to it, and to the other side before I crouched down next to him. He buried his head in his knees, and his sobs were gut wrenching. "Ricky?"
"I-I..." he stuttered, too upset to talk clearly.
"Ricky come here." I said softly, holding my arms out invitingly.

When he didn't move, I sighed softly and wrapped my arms around him. His head fell against my chest and he sobbed. I ignored the fact that my dress was getting wet and I focused on trying to make him feel better. "Ricky calm down, please..."
"N-n-n-no..." he whimpered and I was shocked.

I couldn't believe he could actually speak with how badly he was crying. I didn't know what to do to make him feel better, he didn't deserve to feel like this. Neither did Chris. "Ricky, Chris needs you." I said softly, tightening my grasp on him. He let out a small whimper and clutched onto my dress, sobbing harder. "Oh Ricky..." I whispered softly, feeling my own eyes well up with tears. Ange appeared at my side a few minutes later.

"Pick him up for me Angie." He did as I said, holding Ricky's body close to his chest as Ricky cried. We walked back to Chris' with Ricky slowly getting worse and worse until we were outside, which was when he stared hyperventilating. "Sit in the car with him." I said as I walked quickly inside. Nikki was on his knees with Chris' head in his lap.

Chris was curled up in a ball, crying and shaking like mad. He wasn't crying as bad as Ricky was, but he was still crying pretty bad. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were red and I felt my heart ache at the sight of him looking so hopeless and lost. "Chris? Ricky's in the car, do you wanna see him?"
"R-Ricky..." he said softly, his cries breaking the silence.

"Nikki take him to Ange. There's only one solution to this, you know that right?"
"I-I don't wanna s-see him.." Chris said softly, and when I looked into his eyes, I knew he was being serious. "Chris come on. You love him right?"
"Y-yeah b-but h-h-he..."
"Doesn't know. I don't know what he knows or thinks, but he's a mess. He's crying like his hearts been broken Chris."

He looked up at me hopefully, and I felt even worse. The hope in his eyes made me feel so sad, knowing that he felt hopeless. Nikki sighed and shook his head before he helped Chris stand up. "Chris do you mind if Ricky stays with us for a while? You both need some space to figure shit out." He said softly, which surprised me. Chris bit his lip before nodding and walking off.

I frowned and walked outside, to see Chris staring at Ricky. The longing in his eyes broke my heart. "Why don't you say bye?" I said, resting my hand on his shoulder softly. He took a deep breath before he nodded frantically. I opened the car door and Ange pretty much had to push Ricky out the car. I grabbed Ricky before he could run off and instantly his eyes went to Chris.

Wordlessly, Chris held his arms open, and Ricky ran into Chris' arms, crying against his chest. Chris wrapped his arms around Ricky, silently crying and holding him as tightly as he could. "Ricky I-I..." Chris sighed and buried his face in Ricky's shoulder. I sighed and shook my head before I climbed into the car.

A few moments later, Nikki and Ricky climbed into the car and Ricky waved bye, struggling to breathe, and we went back to mine and Nikki's.