Synthetic

Chapter 22

I was woken up in the early hours of the morning by Ryan, who was trying to leave the bed silently.

"Where you going?" I mumbled tiredly, fighting the urge to fall back to sleep.
Last night had really worn me out...

"Downstairs...I don't belong here really, do I?"
"Yeah you do. Me and Ricky like you a lot Ryan. You've always been there for him, and I can't tell you how much that means to me." Ricky mumbled in his sleep, before he draped his leg across mine and held me closer.

Ryan looked down bashfully. I couldn't fight off the smirk that came to my lips. These two had changed me so fucking much, it was almost unbelievable. Almost. I couldn't believe that I was the way I used to be, whenever I thought about it, it made me feel uneasy. Ashamed, almost.

"Come here Ry." I murmured, patting the space in the bed next to me. He slipped on a clean pair of his boxers and complied, cuddling up to me and Ricky. I wrapped my free arm around him and closed my eyes, a small smile growing on my face. Why?

Because I had two amazing people sharing a bed with me, two beautiful men who'd had sex with me. And one of them was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Ryan yawned softly and cuddled up closer to us before slipping into sleep almost easily.

I didn't try to fall back to sleep, I was relaxing with Ry and Ricky, trying to prolong the inevitable I guess. I hadn't taken their collars off, I didn't know if I wanted to but I knew I needed to. I needed to let them go. With a groan, I moved carefully, climbing out of bed and watched as Ryan and Ricky wrapped they arms around each other. I ignored a pang of jealously and walked into my bedroom, stripping the sheets and taking them downstairs.

I put them into the washing machine, added the powder and turned it on before walking back upstairs. I grabbed a clean set of clothes before I went into the bathroom. I put my clothes down and turned the shower on, stepping under the water flow. I grabbed my body wash and quickly lathered my hands with it before thoroughly washing myself. Before I'd managed to wash all of the soap off, I felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around my waist.

I turned around to see Ricky, smiling up at me with adoring eyes. Damn it, why'd he have to be so cute? "Hey baby." I mumbled in his ear, wrapping my arms around him. "Hey..." he said softly, kissing my cheek and pulling me closer. I rolled my eyes and pulled away, only long enough to finish washing myself. I started washing Ricky, earning soft sighs off of him. That was the only indication I got that he enjoyed this.

"Are you okay Ricky?"
"I'm scared...I don't wanna leave you." He said with a soft whimper, which had me pulling him into my arms and clutching him tightly, letting the water keep us warm. "Baby, I swear I'll come and find you. Only if you want me to. I'll give you my number, so you can call me when you want to come back and I'll come and get you."
"R-really?" He asked.

When I nodded, the sparkle in his eyes made me smile widely and kiss him softly. "Come on, we need to get ready. I have a white t-shirt and some jeans you can have okay Love?"
"Okay.." he said softly, smiling up at me. I pressed my lips to his again before I turned the water off and carried him into our bedroom. I grabbed two towels and handed him one.

While I was drying myself, I couldn't stop staring at the stitches in Ricky's face and on his neck. I sighed and walked into the bathroom to get dressed. I slipped a black shirt and some jeans on before I walked back out. Ricky was siting on the edge of the bare bed only in his boxers. I opened the draw where I kept spare clothes and tossed him a white t-shirt and a pair of black skinnies.

Without looking at him, I sat down next to him and put a clean pair of socks on.

It was all my fault, if I hadn't brought Jared...if I hadn't brought Ricky then he wouldn't be covered in stitches and possible scars. At that moment, I despised myself. I grabbed my boots and put them on, quickly lacing them up before standing up. "Chris? Have I done something?" He asked, standing up with me and turning my head.