𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳

𝑰

𝑭𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒚 16𝒕𝒉, 1878.

From the kitchen, the house was so quiet, almost as if everything was dead asleep, except for Mrs. Coleman's almost silent chattering in the distance. I was longing for anything near a conversation, and it felt like being empty on the inside. All mornings felt the same, like one never-ending morning, an ongoing loop that keeps me trapped in. I couldn't pay a bit of attention to what I was doing, my mind was entirely elsewhere, trying to figure out what Mrs. Coleman was saying, and trying to figure out to whom she was talking from the voice of the spaced replies, while looking, with the corner of my eyes, at the door leading to the corridor.

"Pauline, hurry! Mr. Coleman will be up soon, and the least thing you'd want is to serve his breakfast late." Old Mrs. Perkins spoke, instantly snapping me out, she had always had a bit of sharpness within her voice, mixed with her constant search of perfection.

"Forgive me, Mrs. Perkins, my mind has gone away a little." There was an undeniable stutter in my voice, due to my very sudden fall into reality.

"Young ladies these days!" She sighed, she was willing to see everything as perfect as she thinks should be, nothing else would satisfy her.

"Go fix the table in the garden, let me handle this." She made herself heard with a hint of annoyance, as she gestured me out to the garden with her hand. I couldn't have been any more relieved.

As I made my way out to the garden, she quickly rushed to the task I left unfinished, and one could tell she was finally feeling good, both of us were in fact. I loved working in that huge garden, something about being completely surrounded by green put my mind at ease every time. Maybe it was the fresh air and gorgeous sunlight, the change from dreariness and desolation of their big old house, something so much needed. On my way out, I tried not to show my ultimate gladness, to avoid Mrs. Perkins awkward questioning, and to not look so much like a lunatic.

Immediately, right after my first step into the garden, fell upon me a sensation of freedom like no other, the black empty hole inside was full, and the weight on my chest was replaced by heavenly lightness. It was a windy day, every now and then, a tiny blow of breeze tickles the leaves gently, as the little birds sing in happiness. The leaves, on the other hand, started growing and thriving, crowding upon the little branches, announcing spring's close arrival. Something told me, maybe whispers carried with the wind, that today was going to be a great day.

As soon as I stepped out, I realized that I forgot everything I was meant to put on the table, after all I wasn't out in the garden for fun and relaxation as I wished. The kitchen held the scent of freshly baked bread, newly made tea, and only in the kitchen it felt like morning was really there, the rest of the house was still drowning in darkness. I grabbed the clean dished Mrs. Perkins perpared off the table in a bit of a rush, for I didn't want another comment from her, not at this time.

I ran out, allowing myself once again to fall into the arms of freedom. I loved not being watched, being alone in a certain way, it was always a joy not to have demanding eyes, eyes with needs, and expectations watching me. Despite Mrs. Coleman being nice to me all through the months I worked for them, still there was no comfort, there was no
relief, not like the one working in the garden offered.

I placed the dishes neatly on the small cicular table with light hums escaping my lips every once in a while, felt to me like I was perparing the table for myself, and someone I loved wholeheartedly, and it filled my heart with joy just by imagining. I kept moving around lightly like a bee, placing things here and there, and for once nothing felt heavy and gloomy.

Then suddenly, in a flying second, I saw a little figure moving around the bushes in the distance, I chose it consider it a little animal, seeking for food in those berry bushes, and unlike everyone I didn't bother to scare it away, for these little beings do have a life too, they have little ones to go home to, and they're certainly twice as beautiful, so I let it be while watching it from afar, with a tiny smile I couldn't help. To my surprise, the little figure stood up high, revealing an outline of feminine figure, a rather beautiful one, one that was radiating beauty even from afar, one that I aimed to discover.