𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳

𝑽𝑰

"Pauline you do understand that you were sent out for work and absolutely not for amusement, don't you?" Said Mrs. Perkins. She managed to maintain a sharpness within  such a low tone of voice, one that usually would plant the guilt in me with deep roots. She gave me her back as she kept chopping the carrots, she couldn't care any less.

"Yes, Mrs. Perkins." I dared not to lift my gaze up from my feet, I felt tears threatening to fall whenever the horrible memory of earlier knocked the doors of my mind.

"You shouldn't be late, coming back. Betty and I can't run the house on our own, we'd appreciate some help." She was tired of talking to me as if it reached a dead end, though I wasn't arguing. She seemed to prefer doing her work, the work that didn't involve lecturing me.

"Mrs. Perkins, please let me explain." I said with despair, not that I felt like talking about it, and not that she'd do anything about it, but she had to understand.

"Save it, you've wasted enough time already. How about you go back to work?" She shut me out so easily to the point that it hurt. It took the effort of years not to let myself burst in tears, I bit the inside of my cheek God knows how hard to silence the sobs that I couldn't control.

I knew I was about to break, to drown in my own tears, and so I walked hurriedly out of the kitchen, hoping to be unseen for a few minutes. Mrs. Perkins was glad that I'd left, thinking that I'll be working again, work of which I seemed to be entirely unable to even hold the thought. On my way to hide for a couple of minutes, I ran into Betty, who seemed to be very disturbed at me, judging from the hateful look in her eye. She scanned me with knotted eyebrows, utterly unpleased to have the sight of me before her.

"Next time, you check the clock for I will not stand to do your work. I did it this time, won't do it again." She spoke too harshly that her tone of voice was like sharp glass that could cut my skin, and her glare was like burning flames. She threw a pile of messy clothes into my arms, scattering some all over the floor around me, and then left without a word.

____________

Folding the clothes I was given took longer than usual, it took long enough to make Mrs. Perkins angry because of my slow work but she couldn't object whatsoever, for I was working. I chose to do this task in the garden where I'm lonely, isolated from all who made the day a lot worse. Every now and then I couldn't help the memories of today as they come rushing back to my head, and the only thing I could do is cry in silence.

I was done, at last. Still, despite the work I had left and the unreasonable rage of both Mrs. Perkins and Betty, I chose to spend a few more minutes alone in the garden, maybe cry the burden off my chest. Thinking, I was almost raped today, and all I got as I went back was ultimate disrespect, it made me both angry and sad, a feeling so heavy that made me wish to die rather than to hold in me for any longer.

Almost as if my prayers found listening ears in heaven, I lifted my head to find Louisa wandering lost in the garden, not noticing my exhausted self. I was so happy to the point that it felt like floating off the ground, light like a feather, full of light inside.

"Louisa!" I shouted to gain her attention, and seemed to me that I succeeded when her face lit up with her usual loving smile as she looked at me. Only after she saw me did I remember how miserable I looked, and how ashamed I was to be facing her in such a disturbingly repulsive state.

"Heavens, one day felt like ages of never-ending years." She said with a little sigh as she next to me, she didn't seem to notice my miserable self.

She looked at me so deeply in ways that concerned me, just like the time she first saw me, except it was filled with more worry than curiosity. She rested one hand on my cheek, and the only thing I could do, was helplessly close my eyes at the feeling of her soft skin touching mine, and I'd be damned to deny that explosion of sparks that turned my stomach into a mess.

"Pauline, what is it? Do tell me and don't let my concern overwhelm me." She spoke in the most gentle of ways that brought tears to my eyes. All through today I wished to hear a kind word, but I got nothing of what I wanted. And then, after being so utterly desperate, it came to me from the one I thought was an angel of God's special. I couldn't help but feel a massive urge to cry, and for once I didn't have to stop it. So I let it out, crying hard for all that happened today, and God did it feel so relieving.

"I was almost raped today Louisa! And then, no one could care any less! I needed an ear that'd listen, but I got just the opposite of that!" I cried loud through my sobs, and then I felt her pulling me to her chest, letting me in a tight embrace with her jaw shaking in an urge to cry as well. I didn't think I'd need that so much.

"Talk about it, if it's alright." She whispered in my ear, how can a voice be so soft like silk?

"I was out doing the grocery, just like every week, and then this man offered a ride, the next thing I knew was him forcing himself over me! Mrs. Perkins was never that mean before, she wouldn't even let me tell her what happened, explain why I came back later that I'm supposed to." She stayed silent as I spoke, running her little fingers gently through my hair as she undid it, letting my hair run down my shoulders. Every now and then I would feel her fingers tracing the back of my neck, and every time I do, I feel a rush of goosebumps taking over my skin, and a whole bunch of butterflies wild and free in my stomach.

"It's alright honey, it'll be just fine." She spoke so softly again, as if afraid that her words would reach me.

I escaped her grasp for a little bit of air, frankly because I started feeling an awkward feeling after telling her, perhaps embarrassment of my tragic state. I hurriedly wiped the tears that had fallen off my face, as if hoping that she hadn't seen them.

"Thank you Louisa, so much. You can not believe how much I needed this." I could hear Mrs. Perkins voice calling out my name in the back of my head, probably an illusion that the fear of her planted in me, after what happened today, I can't look at Mrs. Perkins the same anymore.

She smiled at me as a response, a little smile that didn't afford to show her teeth as her hand found a rest on my face once again. Her eyes refused to leave mine, as if they were a pair of lost ones that found a perfect home. I was still like a statue, taken away by that divine feeling of the moment, as if my body forgot how to function, and seemed to me that hers did too.

We were like little boats drifting in a massive ocean, lost, with no clue where we were or where we should be, like two lost souls that needed to be found, and were found at last, for it felt as good as being found in the right time, it felt so ecstatic to be found the way she seemed to find me.

I couldn't tell for how long we were locked like that, maybe for a long, ever-lasting moment cause time seemed to be frozen itself, locked just like we were. Then she finally moved, a quick move that drew her so close to me that I could breathe her lavender scent, and there she stayed hesitant for a moment. I felt such an irresistible power that made my eyes close by themselves, and made my chest rise and fall so desperately like never before, I was starving for something she seemed to have.

Her lips fell upon mine so gently yet so quickly, and I felt like I was finally being aroused. The little sparks in my stomach turned to be flames of raging fire as her lips kept moving ever so smoothly on mine. I could almost hear the sound of angels singing so happily, granting us heaven in the form of one simple moment. I wasn't familiar with such thing, so I didn't know what to do, I just stayed still as her lips felt like waves gently hitting my shore of lips.

She pushed away, for a moment her lips kept hovering upon mine with her eyes slightly open, aiming for an eye contact to be made with my heavy eyes. She tangled her fingers with mine, and took my almost numb hand up to her lips, kissing every fingers too softly to be felt. I couldn't resist anything of what she did, she was too divine for me to resist.

Then, as if coming to reality after being an illusion, I heard Mrs. Perkins calling my name, a little to angrily than usual. Her voice snapped me back to reality, out of the heaven I was in, and it felt as if I crashed so hard into reality that I broke a bone or two.

Louisa heard it too, seemingly. She left a quick but lovingly hard kiss on my cheek before she stood up, looking down at me and biting so hard on her bottom lip to hide a huge smile of hers. I couldn't help but smile back, after all that happened today, and after thinking that today was the worst for history to record, it turned out to be the best, it turned out to have the most divine of moments hidden it.