24th Male Member: NCT fanfic

7.

⚠ Warning ⚠
Contains some triggering content

I walked through the hallways of SM with my new manager. He was pretty chill and let me take frequent breaks whenever I wanted and didn't force me to practice unimaginable hours. He also told me to gain more weight and that he knows that being healthy is more attractive these days. His name is Seongmin and he's helped me over the past month. He's like a father figure in a way. Always there for you but doesn't always show it, never misses one of your performances even if you have to sit it out, and he is a good listener and advice giver. I've never been so happy with a manager before.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I looked over at Seongmin and smiled slightly.
"Yeah. Just having a good day I guess."

He nods and leads me to the practice room where the other members are waiting.
"Once you're all done with practice you're free to go back to the dorms."

All of NCT Dream cheered and hurriedly started practice. Mark was barking out soft orders here and there and we all rushed to follow his lead. Renjun and Jisung were doing pretty good and made little to no mistakes in the choreography. Jaemin and Jeno made minor mistakes and Chenle was making ones that shouldn't have even been thought of. We all laughed it off until I started messing up. Mark corrected me and we did the choreography multiple times because of my stupid mistakes and wrong moves. I was getting more and more frustrated by the second and it was only making my dancing worse due to the little voice of Danjin in my head coming out to play.

You're not good enough.

My foot was in the wrong spot and tripped Haechan.

No one cares about you.

I smacked Chenle with my arm as I was tunring.

You really should just quit.

Mark was beginning to raise his voice slightly in annoyance.

See. I was right. He's just pretending to be your friend. They all are.

Jaemin huffed in annoyance as the same song restarted for the fourth time.

None of them really care about you. They all wish you would quit.

Renjun stopped smiling and slightly glared at me.

Stop trying! You never please anyone!

Jisung had stopped and was trying to compose himself while explaining the moves to me once more.

Go home! No one wants you here!

Jeno started bickering with the others as they all put in a different complaint about my status today.

You know that nothing can make them love you. Why are you even trying?

My phone rang loudly and they all glared at me in annoyance. Mark spoke up with his voice slightly raised from hours of torture from me.

"Well? Go answer it."

I slowly walked over to the phone and saw that it was my mom calling me. My hands shook as I could tell it wasn't anything good. I picked it up and answered before putting it to my ear.

"Hey mom. What's up?"

Her shaky voice came through the other side of the phone and I could automatically tell she'd been crying.

"Baby... It's about your sister Haewon. She's.... My baby... She's gone, Jiwon... My baby girl is gone...."

I paused for a moment not able not proccess the information.
"What do you mean, Mom? Haewon is at the college campus where she usually is. Right?"

My members stared intensely at me and I shook with slight fear from them and shock from my mother.

"No baby. She's... dead."

I felt a huge black hole open up inside of me and it ripped out all of my rational thoughts. My hands were shaking and I felt my face loose it's naturally curious and bright eyes. All emotion was stripped from me in that one moment.

"No. She's perfectly safe and sound. She can't be gone. If I call her she'll answer and laugh about your joke and tell me how she was in on it."

My mom sobbed into the phone.
"No Jiwon. She won't. She's not here anymore baby. She passed just a few moments ago. I tried calling you but-"

I hung up the phone and dialed my younger sister's number as fast as I could. My members were still glaring at me but in that moment all I wanted to do was to get ahold of my sister. The number dialed and she didn't answer. I called her three more times but still no answer. I dropped my phone on the floor of the practice room as I heard Mark yell.

"Are you finished yet?! Or is talking to your mother more important than this obviously much needed practice!?"

I shook with fear and backed up to the wall as he walked towards me. He raised his hand and I flinched back and expected him to hit me but it never came. I opened my closed eyes and saw him slowly draw his hand back. Hurt was in his eyes.

"Did you think I was going to hit you?"

It was at that moment that I let all of the tears fall. Every last one came down my face and stained my cheeks. My loud sobs were the only things heard in the room as everyone stopped and looked at me. I fell to the floor and onto my knees in defeat. Mumbled words left my mouth as I kept crying. The rest of the Dream members froze due to my state. Mark began to lean down towards me before I grabbed my phone off of the floor and ran. Their screams echoed throughout the SM hallways but I kept running. It was again raining outside and I ran all the way across town. My mother had texted me the address so I ended up wandering to the hospital she was currently at. She was tearing up at the doors as I entered the hospital. I rushed to her and grabbed her gently by the arms.

"Mom... Tell me it isn't true... Tell me. please.... Just say she's okay...."

My mom shook her head and hugged me as I sobbed. Soon after I felt two pairs of arms around my waist from behind and I looked back to see my younger brother and other younger sister. They were both crying on me and I let go of my mother to hug them. Soon my other three siblings walked over and we all had a group hug in the lobby. Once we all parted from the hug, my mom wiped away my tears.

"You can see her now if you want to. But you could wait until the funeral if you're not ready."

I nodded with tears still flowing down my face as I heard Doyoung's voice.
"Jiwon...."