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The seasons changed and they did not come back. She grew lonely and sad. Eventually, she accepted that they would not come back and that she would be on her own from then on. It took her a lot harder than she thought that it would, knowing that she would be alone forever. By that point, she had become a hermit. The only time anybody saw her was when she was at the market to sell her excess food and wool. Even then she wouldn't stay for long. She would only go to get what she needed to be done before hiding back in her cottage.

She did not form any more relationships with anyone. It was her and her animals living in silence. She was heartbroken without them but she knew that it was her fault that she had lost them. The silence she loved before she met them became deafening and there was nothing she craved more than to hear Jaskier sing or for Cirilla to laugh.

In her home, there was still Geralt's blanket. He left it when he left but the others took theirs. Even Yennefer took hers which was a surprise. The blanket still smelt like him but she was not sure if she was just imagining it. It had been years since they last visited.

She hoped that they were still alive and well. Geralt was in her thoughts every night when she closed her eyes and he was the first thing she thought about when she awoke. His face and voice had started to fade from her memory and she didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse.

She knew his features, the bum chin, white hair and amber eyes but she could not remember how his eyes would crinkle when he would smile or what his teeth looked like. She only remembered him in facts and not features. She missed him dearly. He brought so much light to her life and she had to accept that the light was officially put out.

*

It was dusk when she heard a series of loud thumps on her door. She grabbed a knife and opened it slowly. In front of her was Geralt. He was bloody and livid. Jaskier was behind him and Cirilla behind them both. She was atop Roach and her eyes were bloodshot. She had been crying. Y/N could tell from the small hiccups from the princess.

'Why are you here?' Her tone was sharp towards Geralt. She let Jaskier and Cirilla in but kept the Witcher at the door. She turned to address Jaskier. 'Please could you get some water for Roach. She must be thirsty.' Jaskier instinctively found the bowl and the water. She had not changed anything since they left. 'I asked you a question, Witcher.' Her voice still dripped venom as she awaited an answer from the man that broke her heart.

'Please can I come in?' He looked her in the eyes. They were pleading with her to go inside and have some refuge. Jaskier awkwardly passed them and set down some water for Roach. 'I will tell you everything.' She stepped aside for him to enter. Despite how angry she was at him, she knew that they all needed her. For what reason, she did not know. One thing that she noticed was that Yennefer was not with them. She did not want to bring it up and opted to wait for one of them to explain it to her.

She put a large cauldron of water to boil and collected some rags and soap to clean them. She started to clean the princess and nobody dared speak. Geralt and Jaskier cleaned themselves in the deafening silence. Once the blood was wiped from Cirilla's face, Y/N stood up to get more water to fill a tub for Cirilla to bathe in.

Jaskier left to clean Roach. She knew that Geralt would not usually allow for him to touch his companion but they both knew it was so they could have some space to talk.

She sat away from him and would not look him in the eyes. Instead, she preoccupied herself with washing the bloodied rag she used to clean Cirilla with. 'You're inside now.' She kept scrubbing at the rags between her hands despite knowing that the stains would no longer come out. 'Explain yourself.'

Geralt look wrecked. His eyes were sad and he could not seem to face what had happened. 'I'm sorry we came here.' His head was in his hands. 'We had nowhere else to go. Nowhere Cirilla felt safe.' She looked at him. Pity filled her up. Something was very wrong.

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