I Hate Loving You (Umeji Kizuguchi x Reader - New Girl ) [Completed]

My Name Is...

It hurts....

Have you ever had that feeling?
Just sitting on the cold floor, cuddling your legs, with your face wet from tears?

It hurts....

Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed or anything.
I think I used to be, though...

I'll make it short for you,
my childhood was fucked up.
I grew up TOO fast, I didn't really got to be a child.

All the innocent thoughts that a kid has, is what I stopped having when I was only 9 years old.

As I mentioned before, I used to be depressed, at least that's what I felt.

But not anymore.
Right now, I feel...... Empty.



I used to hate myself,
I used to believe everything was my fault,
I used to believe that I was the mistake...

But now I see....

They were the wrong.

It's their fault that I felt that way.
It's their fault that I spent so many nights crying for what I am...

I cuddled my legs tighter.

I hate this world....
If I had the power, I would destroy every last piece of it...

I have lost my humanity a long time now.

Like no one ever cared about me,
I don't care about anyone else,
apart from myself.

I HATE ALL OF THEM.

I hate them, I Hate Them,
I HATE THEM!

I sighed.

" But those fouls will never know".

You see, I pretend to be a normal person. I pretend to like the other people who are supposed to be my
'friends'.
I never really show them affection, though. I love to see them suffer.

But well, tomorrow everything will change.

I recently moved to Shisuta Town, because I had some problems in my old school.
Nothing really serious. I just broke a bitch's arm because she called me a slut.

Anyway, from tomorrow I will be attending the Akademi High. Yay.

Which means I have to pretend to be the sweet girl, so I can make friends all over again. I am SOOO excited.

I got up and swiped the tears of my cheaks. I took in a deep breath and tried to turn back to my usual self.

I don't like the fact that I cry.
Crying means that you still care, right? Well, I don't want to care.

At all.
But it just feels impossible sometimes.

I walked in the living room and sat on the sofa. Ugh, damnit....

You may be wondering why I continue living.
Why I keep fighting, when I have no purpose in my life.

Well, I know that this is an unclear answer, but.....

Maybe, just maybe...
A light can reach the bottom of the darkest ocean.

And that's what I am actually hoping for.

I don't know, I feel that someday, something or someone will make me feel something different than hate.

My name is Izumi Mei.

______________________________________________________________________________

Hello Guys!

This is just a small prologue, so that you know who the main character is, and most importantly, the way she sees the world.

And I know that a lot of you might thought that,

But NO! Mei isn't a Yandere.

And just like Umeji, she has a soft side, she doesn't show to others.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed!

Have a Lovely Day : )