I Hate Loving You (Umeji Kizuguchi x Reader - New Girl ) [Completed]

Nothing But Lies

Mei's Pov

'I'm here for you'

I felt the hot water dropping on my face and body, as nothing but these words were echoing within my head.

'I'm here for you'

I closed the tap. Drops of water started rolling down my shoulders, as for once again, the nothingness filled the air.

Why would you say something like that? To someone like me?
He doesn't even know. Nothing I've done throughout my life - and hell! I'm only 17 -. Anything from what I done so far too swallow the pain and manage to stand on my feet again.
Anything from the things I've done just to satisfy my vengeance.

He knows nothing.
But he, more than anyone deserves to know. Just because he trusted me. Then again, I never was good with words. So I might just well let it be for now.

Now that my father is here. The last person I need, actually. And for whatever reason he came back, I have to pull it together. I am not letting him bend me again. It's a promise I made myself a long time ago. And I have no intention in breaking it.

I stepped out of the bathtub, with my towel tied around my body. I dried my hair and brushed them. My eyes stared at my reflection. Just seeing myself and how I have ended up, when other people around me are happy and normal. Like Saki, Amai and Miyuji. Even Kokona, who has her own problems with her family, still has the strength to smile and be herself.

Me? What do I have?
Nothing but a mask, behind which I hide my real self. And beyond that, I'm just hurting. Because the thought is always there. That things could have actually ended up differently. That I would have the chance to be like the rest of the people.

Normal. Happy.

We only have one life, right? That would be the ideal way for someone to live it. Instead being hurt to their breaking point.

Maybe I am asking a lot. Maybe, I'm not trying hard enough. But then, it doesn't even matter. Nothing is gonna change. Nothing.... Except one thing....

I touched my lips, trying to recall the feeling of Umeji's lips on mine. Trying to remember the warmth of being near him. But nothing. No matter how hard I tried to remember, I just couldn't.

In sighed.

" Would he still care about me if he knew everything I've done?"

No. Probably not.
Just like anyone else. They just pass by your life and when you start to care about them, they dissappear. Because they never really cared about you. Not the way you cared about them. And one day, you just stop existing for them. You don't matter anymore.

Just like Mum.

But, call this my gut feeling, I don't believe Umeji will leave. After all, he was the one who kissed m-