The Rules They Broke

Chapter 10: Confrontations

OLIVIA

"Blake."

The brother in question stopped drawing in his sketchpad and lazily swung around in his chair to face her. "Yeah, what's up?"

It had taken Olivia at least two hours to work up the courage to come to his room, and now that she was here, she wasn't sure she really wanted to go through with this. 

All her life, her mother had repeated to her, over and over again, that she needed to give people a chance to explain. Whenever Olivia did something wrong, her mother gave her a chance to explain herself. Whenever they got into an argument, her mother always gave her a chance to explain her side.  

Olivia was so scared she felt like she was going to be sick, but she was here now, and she had never backed down from anything.

"Liv?"

She jerked out of her thoughts and focused her eyes on Blake. He had one eyebrow up, one down, probably wondering why she was standing there silently. 

She sucked in a breath and mustered every last bit of guts she had, and forced out, all in a rush, "Were you taking a picture of me today?"

"I-" He broke off and tilted his head to the side. "Oh, yeah. Right after lunch."

Before her lunch period. Just when she saw him.

Olivia clamped down the millions of emotions and questions threatening to overwhelm her lungs and her mind.

He was a pretty boy, wasn't he?

No. He definitely would have some explanation. He wasn't behind any of this. He couldn't be behind any of this.

Olivia sucked in a breath. "Why were you doing that?"

"Oh, y' know." His infallible chatter failed him. Olivia took in another deep breath to calm all the hot feelings steaming her brain.

Be cool. BE COOL. I AM COOL.

"I don't know," she retorted flatly.

I said cool, not cold. Get it together.

His eyes widened on hearing her voice. Startled, he said, "Olivia, I -"

Where did Livy go? What was happening to him? Why wouldn't he talk to her? Was it him?

Was it him?

Olivia felt dizzy for a second and realized she had been holding in her breath for too long. She tried to let it out gently, so as not to alarm Blake with her panting breaths, but she couldn't do it. She had to gasp in another breath.

Blake stood from his chair, knocking it hard against his desk. Pens rolled to the ground. He paid them no attention.

"Livy? You okay?"

There. The nickname was back. It couldn't be him.

Was it him?

Olivia heaved in another breath. She stepped backwards, away from him. "Can you - could you - just tell me what you were doing with the picture?"

The alarm showed on his face just as much as it did on hers. He backed away a little too. "Promise me you won't be upset?"

Holy shit, she was going to throw up, it really was him, all along, he had sent her those pictures and he had been spying on her and he knew what actually happened to her mom and -

"You don't have to promise, I guess." Olivia barely heard Blake respond to his own request. He shrugged. "We don't have to pretend or keep secrets around each other."

He was going to say it, he was going to say it was him-

Without waiting for her to prompt him, he started telling her in that gentle chattering she had come to know so well in only a few days.

"I was just asking around about you - you know, just to see if everything was okay, because I don't have any classes with you and I barely ever see you." He waved his hands wildly in front of his face. "Not - not, you know, as a brother, because that would violate rule number three, but on the down low. Unsuspiciously. No one knew.

"And, you know, I heard someone saying that the kid who got held back a year was bothering you. So I - you know, I just saw you today and I couldn't really see the kid next to you because I wasn't wearing my contacts or glasses and I couldn't tell if it was that kid who got held back a year, because everything looks the same to me without my glasses on and - I just needed to zoom in a little on the picture to see, but -"

So it wasn't him. How could it be him? He had watched horror movies with her and made her breakfast and lunch and showed her his drawings of Logan.

Relief washed over Olivia like his gentle chattering always did. She felt her cold face warm a little. She could feel her fingers again, her heartbeat pounding in her fingertips, aching to make up for the passing numbness.

Why had she doubted him?

And why did she want so badly for it not to be him? Did she want to care for him? Did she want him to care for her?

"Okay," she broke in as he continued to ramble on.

"Okay?" Blake repeated. He looked at her with a little bit of hope. "Does that - is that okay?"

I was just asking around about you - you know, just to see if everything was okay.

Why was he doing this?

She didn't want him to care about her. She wanted to get along, but no more than that.

"You don't need to check up on me," she told him. "I'm fine."

Blake smiled at her. It wasn't one of his goofy grins or his winking smirks. It was a gentle, tentative smile.

"I know. I just want to."

So guys. My campus is going to be closed after next week and all of my classes will be online because of health safety purposes regarding the virus. I don't know what it's like where you all live but here everyone is freaking out. 

Just remember to please be safe and always, always be kind to others. 

For next time: just a chapter leading up to the game Melanie mentioned earlier