The Rules They Broke

Chapter 29: Rule Number 7

[trigger warnings: suicide/suicidal thoughts/mentions of drug ab/use]

LOGAN

"Blake."

Blake groaned and pulled away from where Logan was calling for him in his ear. "Stop," he mumbled and shoved his face deeper into his pillow.

Logan didn't take that as a no. "Blake!" he said more fiercely, pulling at his arm.

Blake looked up at him through sleep-squinted eyes. "What?" he moaned.

"Come on," Logan said, pulling away his blanket. "Get up. We have to do something today."

Blake snatched the blanket back. "Why are you being so weird?"

"Just get out of bed."

"It's a Saturday. Can't you let me sleep?"

"We can only do this today." Logan took hold of Blake's hand and pulled. "Come on, Blake, please. It's for Olivia."

Blake shoved his face into the pillow. "Don't lie just to get me to get up and make you pancakes."

"We're going to go visit where she used to live today."

"Logan, I swear if I get up and you only want pancakes-"

"Just get out of bed and think up that threat later."

"Can I drive the bike?"

"No."

"Then I'm not coming."

"It's too far for you. It's half an hour from here. Once we get to town we'll switch off and I'll let you have a go on the small roads. Okay?"

Blake grumbled something that sounded like an agreement and made to roll out of bed. Logan took a step back and Blake's elbow and hip hit the ground hard as he collided with the floor.

"You're an evil older brother. You know that right?" he groaned.

Logan rolled his eyes. "We're leaving in half an hour. And if you're making pancakes, make me some too."

"It's like I'm Cinderella and you're Drusilla!" Blake yelled after him as he left the room. "Because she's the uglier one of the two stepsisters!" As an afterthought he added, "And that makes Elijah Anastasia!"

*****

Blake talked Logan's ear off about anything and everything as they rode.

"And then after Nick went out with Hillary, Brandon almost killed him in the locker room. You should've seen him. It was a bloodbath! The principal even finally came out of his high and mighty office and-"

Logan listened to Blake go on for the full half hour it took them to get there. It didn't matter that he could barely hear the words through the helmets they were wearing. It didn't matter that Blake was blowing his eardrums in an effort to be heard over the wind whipping against the helmets. Logan was just content to have his little brother hanging onto his waist and his voice constantly in his ears. He would never admit it, but he loved listening to Blake exaggerate his stories, animatedly bringing even the most mundane of encounters to life.

When he was fifteen, Logan often thought he was going to die. When he turned sixteen, he knew he was going to die, constantly had ugly thoughts about death and dying - except for those moments when he would slip into Blake's room at night and lay there on the floor, listening to the sound of his stuffed-full-of-life brother's gentle, easy breaths, and just that bit of normalcy would calm down his angry black thoughts for a few hours and convince him not to do something he would regret later. He would never be able to sleep through the night, but at least he managed to make it till morning.