Let's not fall in love // Jenlisa

Chapter 20

Lisa's pov

"What the hell was that, Lisa?" Irene yelled at me as she closed the door behind her and entered my office. 

"None of your business." I simply answered.

"I heard everything you said to her, how could you say those things to her? You know she's not like that."

"I did what I had to do." I'm sorry, Jennie. This is the only way I can protect you.

"You did what you had to do? She's crying over you Lisa, you're hurting her. There has to be another way." 

"Well, there's not. I've tried avoiding her but I couldn't and also she wouldn't let me avoid her. I couldn't distance myself from her but now she won't even want to see me. I did what I had to do, to protect her." I sat down in my chair.

"Stop doing this to yourself. You're standing in the way of your own happiness, I can see that Jennie makes you happy. The only time you ever smile is when you're around her. I know you like her and she likes you too. I know you're scared, but maybe you shouldn't think about your dad or the company for once and think about your own happiness." Irene suggested.

"Even if I don't think about my dad or the company, it doesn't change the fact that Jennie wants to become an idol. It's her dream to become an idol, and I don't want to get in the way of her dreams." I explained.

She sighed. "I know where you're coming from, but you can still be more even if she does become an idol. And also you know how bad your dad treats his idols, don't you remember how he treated Chaeyoung, do you want him to treat Jennie like that as well?" 

"No, of course not. But it's not my choice to make, if this is what she wants then she should do it. And if she does there's no way I can be with her, you know what happened with Chaeyoung."

"What happened to Chaeyoung is because you couldn't go against your father, because you're a big ass pussy and were scared to fight for her." 

"Stop, I don't wanna talk about this." I glared at her, I've warned her before about this subject yet she's talking about it again.

"You're always doing what you're best at, huh? How long will you keep running away? How long will you act the way your dad wants you to act?"

"You think I'm proud of what I did? I have been living my life full of  regrets for the past year!" I raised my voice as I stood up and faced her.

"You're going to have even more regrets if you let go of Jennie." She's right, one day I am going to regret letting Jennie go but I'll just have to remind myself that I did this for her and for her dreams.

"Look, you know better than anyone how dangerous it would be for Jennie to be around me. You know there are people out there that are trying to bring me down and they will use her to hurt me if they find out how much she means to me. I have a lot of enemies and you know that. You're the only one who saw what happened to Chaeyoung so you should know better." 

"I just want you to be happy." She grabbed my shoulders.

"There's no way that I'm going to be able to be happy one day. Everyone and everything goes against me. Yes, I like, Jennie. Fuck, I like her a lot! If I wasn't Lisa Manoban but someone else just a regular person then I would tell her and ask her to be my girlfriend. But I can't do that, I care too much for her to bring her down with me." 

"So you're just gonna ignore your feelings for her?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Look, even if no one stood in my way, I'm never going to be able to give her my 100% because I'm broken, okay? I'm still not over Chaeyoung and everything that happened and I don't think I'll ever get over it anytime soon. I don't want Jennie to enter this mess, so please just let this go." I begged.

"Fine, if that's what you want then go ahead. But just remember you're the only one that can control your own happiness. You can change your life, you just need the courage to do so." 

"I don't have the courage." I admitted.

"Well, do something about it. Are you going to be alone forever? You think that if you let Jennie go, you won't meet someone else?" 

"I will end up with someone. With someone that my family would accept." 

"Lisa, you're never going to end up with someone that they approve of. They want you to end up with a rich boy and you're gay so that's obviously not happening." She crossed her arms.

"Well, then I'm ending up alone."

"Aish, you're so hard to talk to." She sighed. "Well, at least I tried. Maybe someone else can bring some sense into you, because this is all I got."

"Just leave, Irene. I wanna be alone." I ordered.

"Fine." She said before leaving the room.

The hurt I saw on Jennie's face when I said those words is bothering me a lot. I know it was wrong of me to say those words and believe me I didn't want to say it because I don't mean it, not even a bit. I know she's not after my money, in fact she's the first girl that's not. She's genuine with me and doesn't hide who she really is.

A/N: New chapterrr, pls vote and comment