Strawberry milk helps you grow, tantei-kun

Adults don't understand that high school is a battlefield

Gintoki usually didn't keep track of time, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, it was all the same to him. After all, when you're the president of the Yorozuya, you're always working no matter the day of the week. Most failed to recognize how hard of a job being the Yorozuya leader really was. Working on odd jobs, looking for clients, going to pachinko, horse races, casinos, he had to make money somehow dammit!!!

He was surprised when Dr. Agasa woke him up early one morning. During his stay there, the old man usually allowed him to wake up late, after all, he had to "rest and not get himself in trouble, " according to that sugar stealing brat. 

"Hey, Gintoki-kun, come on," The doctor said, trying to wake him up by shaking him. He and Haibara each had their turn trying to awake him. So far they had dumped water on him, blasted rock music, and even tried to bribe him with sweets, but nothing seemed to be working. "You'll be late for school."

That seemed to do the trick, the silver-haired teen sat straight up with a mortified expression on his face, "S-school?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adults don't understand that high school is a battlefield

Gintoki had tried to persuade Dr. Agasa that he didn't need to go to school, but the old man already had predicted that would happen and already had a counter-argument ready to go. He had threatened Gintoki into either going to school or being homeless, and Gintoki wasn't about to turn into a MADAO.

"Damn that old man, making an almost 30-year-old dude go to highschool, I even have to wear this stupid uniform. Doesn't he know this is the perfect setting for one of those twisted harem mangas?" Gintoki muttered as he and a certain brown-haired girl walked down a street, "I can already imagine it. A perverted out-of-job businessman gets hit by a truck and his soul gets transferred onto a highschooler's body. He's lucky I'm a decent man."

"The heck even is a MADAO?" The shrunk scientist beside him questioned, already getting tired of his useless rambling "In any case, that 'damned old man' is giving you a place to stay, so you better not do anything that would put you on the sex offender registry."

"Well, what if I just happen to fall in an awkward position? It happens all the time on Ho Love-Ru. A man should be prepared at all times, that kind of opportunity only presents itself a few times in a lifetime," He would never admit it to anyone, but Gintoki was actually feeling really nervous. At times, high school could be more ruthless than any war. 

"Life isn't a manga you know?" Haibara thought she heard a quiet "You'd be surprised," but decided to shake it off, "You'll be fine. Shinichi-kun's classmates can't be that bad, I've heard some interesting stories about them."

"What about Shinichi-niichan's classmates?" asked a small girly voice behind them. Both of them turned around to see three kids, around Haibara's apparent age, walking a little behind them. 

It was rare for them to bump into Haibara when walking to school, she often set off too early in the morning for them to have a chance at meeting their more mature friend. What made a rare event even more unusual was the strange teenager walking beside her.

"Ah, Haibara-san, who's that?" Pointed a well-dressed child next to the little girl who had spoken up earlier.

"Hey, didn't anyone teach you not to point?" Gintoki asked accusingly at the child, "My name is Sakata Gintoki. You can call me Gin. Nice to meet you."

Haibara decided to take it on from there, she didn't want the perm head to say something he shouldn't, "He's one of Dr. Agasa's distant relatives. He's staying with us for a while."

"Wow, Dr. Agasa has a big family," stated a big, bald child beside the previous well-dressed one.

"Well, Gin-niichan, I'm Ayumi. Nice to meet you!" exclaimed the little girl as she started to point to both of her friends, "This is Mitsuhiku-kun, and that's Genta-kun."

Each of the children gave a small bow before noticing that they had arrived at their school. Haibara turned to Gintoki to speak, "You just need to turn right at the intersection and you should get there on time."

"Okay. Thank you. I'll see you after this, right? I'll survive this, right? Right?" Even though words were coming out of his mouth, they weren't directed at anyone, he was already walking down the street with the face of a drafted soldier heading to war.

"Hey, will that niichan be alright?" Asked Genta as they all worriedly stared at his back, "He looked like he was about to throw up his breakfast."

"I'm sure he'll be okay," Inquired Haibara with her cool voice. Even though she never went to one, she was convinced that high school wasn't that bad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gintoki was not okay, he was currently facing a very big dilemma. He was standing right outside the classroom door waiting for the teacher to motion him in. He could stand there and very shortly put himself at the mercy of hormonal teens, or he could make a run for it, but that would make him homeless. 

Then again, what's the big deal with being homeless? MADAO does it all the time and he's relatively okay. Maybe it was time to sympathize with him. But, did he really want to end up like Hasegawa-san?

His thoughts were disrupted as the teacher opened the door with a kind smile on his face, "Sakata-kun, come right in and introduce yourself."

"Y-yes, of course," He quickly motioned himself forward and began writing his name on the board, "My name is Sakata Gintoki. Nice to meet you. I like sweets, especially strawberry parfaits but a certain someone is keeping me from eating them."

"I-it's you!" A surprised voice was heard throughout the classroom and everyone turned to its owner, Ran. 

'Could this get any more cliche? I thought that brat said life wasn't a manga...' Thought an exasperated Gintoki.

"Oh, so you know each other already? Perfect, I expect everyone here to give Sakata-kun a warm welcome," The teacher turned to the newcomer and added, "You can sit in that empty desk right there, we'll figure something out when Kudo-kun comes back."

A pained expression was briefly visible on Ran's face as Gintoki took Shinichi's old desk, and class began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I planned on making it all the way to lunch, but I think this is long enough for now. Thanks to anyone who reads and comments this, ya'll are the reason I keep writing this dumb story!

Any comments, questions, concerns?

Smash CTRL out