nervous

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Rosé POV

I invited Jennie up to my room when I found her crying. She didn't tell me what was going on and why she was crying, but I didn't want to go more into it.

When I started to make a "bed" for myself on the floor, Jennie held me by my arm and scared me for a second. "Please sleep in the bed next to me. I.....I don't wanna be alone." With her teary eyes, she looked at me begging. Of course, I couldn't resist those beautiful cat eyes. "Umm...yeah sure, I'll sleep with...ehm..you." I began to stutter as if I was having a presentation in class. I mean it's the most normal thing in the world to sleep in the same bed with your stepsister right?

Well..., it's not that normal if you find that person kind of attractive. Why do I always have these weird thoughts? I mean JENNIE and attractive? What the fuck am I thinking? It's NOT normal that I'm so nervous.... but I have to admit that she was so cute before, when she asked me if I want to sleep with-... no way she's not any of this.

"Hm Rosé are you finally coming?" Jennie woke me up from my daydream.
"What? Oh yeah I'm coming." We both got ready for bed and finally slipped into the warm bed. I lay there like a stick, looking at the white blanket while I felt that Jennie's eyes were fixed on me. "Turn towards me," she told me. "No, it's OK, I'm comfortable like that." I answered her, looking briefly at her. Suddenly, I felt her hand on mine. She pulled my right hand so that I had to turn to her. "It was an invitation, not a question Rosé." She said in a soft voice. "You're right but I can choose how I want to lay ms. Jennie Kim." I mentioned playfully. "Well you can, but it didn't look like you were comfortable." Jennie said as she giggled.

I had to start smiling, because her giggle was so sweet. "You know... I used to do that with my sister a lot." Jennie said. Her smile slowly disappeared from her face. I pulled my eyebrows together and asked her, "Wait... your sister?" She turned her eyes to her fingers. "Yeah, the thing we do now, sleeping in the same bed together, we used to do a lot on weekends." She started playing with her fingers. "She was great, she was so perfect... everybody liked her because, whether the person was good or bad, she always saw the good in that person."

Jennie's eyes slowly filled with tears. "She always protected me at school when the girls in my class bullied me. I'm a failure and she... and she was a beautiful angel." Her tears fell all over her face and she started sobbing loudly. "Jennie..." I froze for a moment and I didn't know how to calm her down. As her tears continued to flow down I hugged her and held her head against my chest. On my chest I felt my top getting wet from her tears, but at that moment I didn't care. "It's all right Jennie, you're a great person and you're not a failure. In my eyes you're worth so much."

"Your sister would be very proud of you. You've made it this far and your grades are above average..Can a loser do that? No, of course not because you're perfect, Jennie." "Whatever happened to your sister, she loved you and she never would have wanted you to cry over her. Okay? It's gonna be fine." I felt how tight she clung to me and her sobbing got less. I stroked her back and held her tight. "Thanks for that Rosé." Jennie said softly. "Of course" I told her.

Some time later I noticed how Jennie fell asleep. We were still in this hugging position, but somehow she seemed to be very comfortable, probably why she fell asleep so fast. I did the same thing and made myself comfortable on Jennie's left shoulder. A very comfortable feeling to be in her arms to be honest.

In the next morning I felt like a newborn baby. I slept so much better with Jennie than I did alone. I opened my eyes and realized I was alone in bed. I touched the right side of the bed to make sure I'm alone and yup Jennie wasn't there anymore. She was probably getting ready for school I thought.

Luckily I had that day off. So I made myself comfortable on the bed and thought about the big day tomorrow. The first day of school in a completely different place is kinda scary but somehow cool, because you can show yourself as a "new" person or the opposite. I will be the same awkward Rosé, but you never know what can happen right? Maybe I'll be in a relationship with the bad boy like in these Wattpad stories, well but that's just a dream and will probably never happen.

I got up and went downstairs to the kitchen. Jennie was alone at the table and took a bite of her self made sandwich. She looked at me as she heard me approach her.

"Good morning Jennie." I gave her my warm smile when I sat across from her. At first she didn't pay any attention to me, just looking at her sandwich. "Mmm, you still look very tired. Well probably because, it's monday."  When I said that, I giggled and expected Jennie to react.

She looked into my eyes and sighed. "Listen, forget about what happened yesterday. I needed help and you were just there." Jennie said as she took her last bite. "Oh I just thought we-" She interrupted me. "No nothing changed, I just needed help that's it okay?! So stop being so nice. Now excuse me I need to go to fucking school."

The door closed and I sat there like an idiot as if I was rejected by my non existent crush. I honestly thought we could be normal friends, but apparently we couldn't. What do I have to do to get her to like me? I just don't understand her. If this keeps up, we're never going to be friends or anything near that.

When I got up from the table, Eric came down the stairs. "Are you done with breakfast?" He asked while putting his lunch in his bag. "Yeah, I... um, I had lunch with Jennie before she went to school." I answered him. "Ahhh really? Do I see any progress there?" He smiled at me. "Umm not really. I wish there was any progress." Without saying anything else, I went up to my room.

I got comfortable on bed and spent the time with my phone. The excitement of tomorrow couldn't let me go. Therefore I decided to pack my school things, so I was ready  for the next morning.

I was aware that Jennie probably wouldn't show me around at school. So it will be very difficult to find my way around tomorrow and especially in a country where I don't speak the language so well...FUCK. If only I had Lisa with me. I would feel much more comfortable here. Maybe I imagined this whole journey too easy.

In the evening

I got ready for bed and brushed my teeth. I laid down and thought about tomorrow. "Rosé can I come in?" Mom said as she knocked on the door. "Yeah of course." She came in, gave me a warm smile and sat on my bed.  "What are you doing?" She asked me. "I'm just thinking about tomorrow."

She looked me in the eyes and kept smiling at me. "Aw don't worry Rosé, you'll get trough it. You're an amazing girl, I'm sure everybody wants to be friends with you." "Mom... you know damn well that's not the case.  I can't even ask a person for directions without sweating."

Mom sighed and lowered her smile. "Listen to me, you're not the only one who feels this way. "You're great, and I know you'll have no trouble getting along and this is a great chance to improve your Korean." She got up and walked to the door. "Don't worry, honey. It's not going to be as bad as you think." She said. "Okay mom I'll try my best." Mom gave me her last smile before she walked out of the room.

I was wilting in bed and surfing the Internet before I finally fell asleep. At 6am my alarm clock rang. I rubbed my eyes and tried my best to get up. There was no sun in sight because it was so early. After still laying 5 minutes and literally doing nothing I finally made my way downstairs.

Later Jennie drove me to school. I trembled with fear and I bet she heard my heartbeat too. I looked out of the window and I felt my hands getting sweaty. "Um...Jennie? I have a question...." She half turned her face to me. "Can you be with me in break, I mean I just don't wanna be alone and I don't want that people look at me because of that." I asked her as she raised her eyebrow.

"Pfff with you?? No, thank you. Just when you'll get some popularity like me... ohhh wait..., this will never happen." I looked at her with a straight expression as she put a fake smile on her face. "Why do you look at me like that?? I also had nobody with me on my first day of school, so stop being such a pussy you idiot." said Jennie with an attitude.

"Yes, because you had nobody you can go there but I have you. "I tried to argument back. "Shut up and just get out of the damn car, we're gonna be late. "I rolled my eyes. "Don't tell me what to do Jennie." "Whatever..." I opened the car door and when I saw the school in front of me, I had an awful feeling in my body. I wanted to go back to Australia, to my old school with my friends and not to a new school and have to deal with a strange stepsister at home called Jennie ew...

~

Heyy :) it been a while and I hope you guys are safe and stay healthy in this time of Covid-19. The last time I updated was literally before all this happend jdksksj well I try to update but I'm lazy asf so oops 👀 I try my best <3

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⏰ Last updated: May 08, 2020 ⏰

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