Home isn't just a place

Chapter Eleven

Peter was in the middle of pretending to eat the hastily made macaroni when Tony burst into the kitchen. Peter almost winced at the look of pure fury in his eyes and Peter quickly set down his spoon and stood up. Peter waved at him shyly, the fight they'd had still fresh on his mind. "Hey Tony---"

Peter was cut off when a heavy weight crashed into his chest. It took Peter a second to realize that Tony was hugging him. "I'm so sorry Peter," he said. "We're going to fix this. I promise."

Peter nodded against his shoulder. "'M sorry." he mumbled. Tony just held him a little tighter.

"It's okay," he said, slowly pulling away from Peter. He had a determined glint in his eyes when he looked at Peter. "I'm not mad at you. None of this is your fault."

Peter had meant he was sorry about the fight, but for some reason he didn't feel like bringing it up again. So instead Peter just nodded and shuffled back to the chair, his hand picking up the spoon he'd left there. "Where is everyone?" Peter asked, eyeing the macaroni with distaste. He had no appetite.

"They're in a meeting with Fury." Tony said wearily, pulling out a mug and pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Debrief and all that fun stuff." Peter nodded.

Peter bit his lip, the desire to ask about Wolf so strong, but at the same time, Peter wasn't sure how to ask. "So..." Peter trailed off, wincing at the hesitation in his voice. God! Could he be anymore obvious?

Apparently not. Tony sighed and sat down in the chair next to him. "Barnes is in the tower right now." he said, looking at Peter firmly. "He's no longer conditioned so you don't have to worry about the Winter Soldier."

"I'm not afraid of Wolf." Peter said. And surprisingly it was true. Despite their little stint a few months ago, Peter wasn't afraid of the man. Wolf had never intentionally hurt him and Peter knew he never would.

Tony, it seemed, was less sure. He grimaced at Peter's words before he quickly downed more of his coffee, the mug shielding his expression from Peter's view. They sat in an awkward silence for a few seconds, the only sounds in the kitchen coming from Tony's mug and Peter awkwardly scraping his pasta around.

Finally Tony sighed. "Peter," he said. Peter sat up straighter. "About our fight---"

"I'm sorry!" Peter rushed out. He grimaced as he remembered the horrible thing he had said. "I didn't mean it!"

"Peter, sometimes when we bottle something up it comes out in the worst way," Tony said, looking at Peter with nothing but concern in his eyes. Peter swallowed dryly and looked away. "I want you to express your emotions in a healthy way. I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with blaming---"

"I don't." Peter said softly, his gaze drifting down to his hands. Peter fumbled, trying to find the best way to express his feelings. "I did... before. But I don't. Anymore."

"Peter, please, talk to me. I want to help," Tony all but begged. Peter sighed. This was so not the conversation he wanted to have today. "It's okay, Pete. You can talk to me."

"I used to be really mad," Peter said, a sad tint ebbing into his words. "But I don't think I was ever mad at you, I was just mad because I needed to be. You know?"

Tony swallowed and looked away, understanding flashing through his eyes before he controlled it. It made Peter wonder when Tony had felt that too. "Yeah," he said softly. "I do."

"But I'm not anymore," Peter said. "Because I know that there is no one to blame. Besides Hydra, none of you guys are at fault for what happened. It just... happened. It's sad and horrible but that's just reality."