Vows

-4- Boyfriend Jeans

Mina Hewitt

If Owen isn't back in one minute I'm gone. I can't do this. The little bag that houses the two ring boxes feels like lead in my hands, my heart beating uncontrollably in my chest.

What if he doesn't come back?

Oh my god.

What if he left?

Taking a deep breath, I let my head tilt up toward the ceiling.

I'm being ridiculous.

Owen stays.

I'm not Penny.

This isn't the same.

But what the hell is taking him so long? I know for a fact that he can pee and wash his hands in under three minutes.

Maybe there was a line.

I pace the wood floor, shaking my head at myself. There isn't a line, stop being stupid Mina.

Glancing down the hallway toward the bathroom, he's still not there.

Maybe he fell.

He hasn't fallen in a long time though.

Should I go check on him?

My fingers clench around the ribbon handles of the bag. This is fine. I'm fine. This is what I want.

Right?

I nod my head in response because actually saying yes feels like I might drown.  This is all so fast. It's not that I don't want to but just a few hours ago I was sitting on the couch with bridal magazines spread over it agonizing over every minuscule detail and now I'm here. A few short steps from marrying Owen. Which is what I want.

But I can't help but think of all the what if's, all the ways we could flame out. It might start with just falling into a routine, our routine gets mundane and we start going through the motions. We both start seeking comfort elsewhere, Owen with another woman, me with food because I'm Penny's daughter and history has a way of repeating itself. And then all of a sudden he's filing for divorce and I out grow my pants and then I end up just like Penny. Massively fat, bitter and miserable all alone and that thought alone steals my breath and makes a cold sweat break out along my skin.

I'm spiraling so fast down this dark tunnel of thoughts I don't even realize Owen's there until I feel arms snake around me from behind and I let out a yelp, shoving him away from me as I twist in his arms.

"Stop!" I shout. "What's your problem!?"

But he knows just as well as I do that if either of us is having a problem right now it's me.

He pulls me back to him, my hands landing on his chest. He's solid and steady against me, his brown eyes patient as he looks down at me.

"I'm right here Mina." His voice a low rumble in his chest that always seems to calm and excite me at the very same time.

It's a gift of his, one I'm not always sure I'm glad he has.

"I'm fine." I tell him.

The corner of his mouth twitches upward in a knowing smile, irritatingly adorable and I roll my eyes at it.

"Ready?" He asks.

No.

I stare at him doe eyed.

And all he does is laugh before he tucks some of my blond hair behind my ear letting his fingers tangle in the strands. It instantly makes me remember that day in the courtyard of my college. That day when he surprised me by walking, something he had been terrified to do until that moment. That day when he kissed me, drawing emotions and igniting this feeling of electricity within me.