The Doctor Of War ³

Mummy On Orient Express

The TARDIS materialises in a space, amidst racks of suitcases, and the Doctor steps out wearing a black suit with a white handkerchief in the breast pocket and a loose bow tie with very long ends, sort of Western style, I step out after him wearing a black dress, I huff.

"why do you always complain when getting dressed up?" the Doctor asks looking down at me.

"Because I'd prefer not to wear a dress" I reply holding out my hand towards the TARDIS "your train awaits, my lady."

"Wonderful," Clara says stepping out of the TARDIS her hand in mine.

"The baggage car. But thanks for lying. The real wonderful is through here. There were many trains to take the name Orient Express, but only one in space" they all walk through the door and into another carriage, there are comfortable chairs down the side, a bar at one end, and armed men standing guard. The band is playing a slow jazz version of Don't Stop Me Now by Queen.

"Of course, it is" Clara replies.

"So, don't stop me now."

"Completely faithful recreation of the original Orient Express. Except slightly bigger. And in space. Oh, and the rails are actually hyperspace ribbons. But in every other respect, identical. Painstaking attention to detail" the Doctor says, a man with a bald head, big red beard and steampunk eyepatch barges in between them.

"I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars."

"Most of the time," the Doctor says rubbing his bruised arm.

"On a collision course I am a satellite, I'm out of control. I'm a sex machine ready to reload. Like an atom bomb about to oh, oh, oh."

"You're doing it again" I say.

"Doing what?" Clara asks.

"The smile."

"Yeah, I'm smiling."

"It's the sad smile. It's a smile but you're sad. It's confusing. It's like two emotions at once. It's like you're malfunctioning."

"Sorry."

"Travelling at the speed of light. Wanna make a supersonic woman of you."

"We just thought this would be a good one to..."

"To end it. Yeah. It is. It's a good choice. A good one to end on."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Shall we?" the maid approaches with a tray of champagne flutes. I offer Clara my arm.

"Mmm hmm."

"Gimme a call. Don't stop me now Don't stop me"

"Ladies and gentlemen. If you would be good enough to look from the windows on the right of the train, you'll be able to see the soaring majesty of the Magellan black hole."

"Oh, I remember when this was all planets as far as the eye could see. All gone now. Gobbled up by that beast. And there's that smile again. I don't even know how you do that" I say.

"I really thought I hated you two you know?" Clara says.

"Well, thank God you kept that to yourself. There was this planet, Obsidian. The planet of perpetual darkness."

"I did. I did hate you two. In fact, I hated you for weeks."

"Good, fine. Well, I'm glad that we cleared that up. There was also a planet that was made completely of shrubs" the Doctor says speaking up.