The Doctor Of War ³

The Magicians Apprentice pt.2

The Doctor and I enter on a tank, the Doctor is playing a guitar and the two of us are wearing shades. The crowd love it. The man lowers his axe in despair. The Doctor finishes the riff and bows to the Lord and Lady as the speakers give feedback. The Doctor is wearing checkered trousers and a black frock coat.

"Dude! What is that?"

"You said you wanted an axe fight" I reply, someone chuckles "oh, come on. In a few hundred years, that'll be really funny. It's a slow burner."

"A musical instrument is not an axe."

"Yes, and a daffodil is not a broadsword, but we still won the last round!" the crowd cheers.

"What do you think of our tank? Don't worry, it isn't loaded" the Doctor says.

"I don't like it."

"No, neither do I. I bought it for our fish."

"Your fish?"

"I may have ordered online!" there is complete silence "oh, come on. Fish? Tank? Honestly, this stuff will be hilarious in a very few hundred years. Do please stick around."

"What's the matter with them? They're never like this" Clara says looking at Missy.

"Oh, you really are new, aren't you?" Missy replies, I look up at the ramparts, directly at Clara.

"Wait, hang on. Did she just hear that? They don't know we're here, do they?" I nudge the Doctor he looks at me and hands over the guitar, I play the opening of Pretty Woman.

"Now, you lot. We have been here all day, and it's been a great day!" I say.

"You've both been here for three weeks."

"Three weeks? It must be nearly bedtime. Well, we've partied!" there are cheers "yes! We helped you dig a well, with a first-class, child-friendly visitor's centre! We've given you some top-notch maths tuition in a fun but relevant way. And we have also introduced the word "dude" several centuries early. Let us hear you!"

"Dude!"

"Are you a Renaissance?"

"Dude!"

"Are you a Medieval?"

"Dude!" the Doctor points at a young man in armour.

"I am a dragon-slaying?" the Doctor asks.

"Dude!"

"We are all the young?"

"Dudes!"

"We like it. But we've got some sad news for you, dudes. Tonight, we're going to have to leave you" a chorus of no's can be heard.

"But before we do, we'd like you to meet a couple of friends of ours" I say, 'ooh's' and 'ahh's' come from the crowd, then applause and cheering. Clara enters the courtyard and waves shyly.

"How did you know I was here? Did you see me?" Clara asks.

"When do I not see you?"

"What, one face in all of that crowd?"

"There was a crowd, too?"

"Wow, we're doing charm as well, now, are we? Which one of us is dying?" I suddenly hug Clara "ok. And we're doing hugging now, too. I can't keep up."

"Well, you know what they say. Hugging is a great way to hide your face."

"Ok, look. I guessed a party, but not like this. What is this? This isn't you two."

"We spent all day yesterday in bow ties, the day before in long scarfs. It's our party, and all of us is invited" the Doctor says as I riff Mickie as Missy enters.