Empress Of Mars

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Inside NASA a computer image of a satellite is on the big screen, and everyone is very busy. The man at the desk stands up, then a woman.

"Don't let us down now, Valkyrie" the man whispers.

"Fingers crossed, Alan."

"I got everything crossed. Okay, people. Transmission arriving in ten, nine, eight, seven, six" the big screen is now counting down to Download Commences with them.

"Five, four, three, two, one! Sorry, I could never resist a countdown" the Doctor says.

"Who the hell are you?" the woman asks.

"Is this Neil Armstrong?" Bill asks.

"What?" Bill is standing by the studio photograph of the Apollo 11 astronauts sitting in front of an image of a full moon on the wall, pointing at Neil.

"Neil Armstrong. The first man on the Moon" Bill says.

"Not quite the first" I say.

"What, you mean he wasn't the first man on the Moon?" Bill asks.

"That is such a human-centric question" I say.

"I'm the human in this set-up."

"She is, actually," Nardole says, dunking a tea bag into a cup "It's a bit embarrassing, really."

"Who are you, people?"

"Friendly aliens. Don't mind us. Just a day out for the kids" the Doctor says holding out the psychic paper.

"It's from the Chief."

"Is it? Oh, yes. That's right. Authorising us to go anywhere we please. So, Valkyrie."

"Valkyrie is er probing the Martian ice caps with a new kind of camera on board. Uses a different spectrum to see under the poles and beam back pictures" an image is being formed from top left to bottom right on the big screen "what the hell?" someone has used rocks to write a message on the Martian surface - God Save The Queen.

*Time skip*

"Mars. 1881, or thereabouts. According to the TARDIS, that's when the message was made. Though we may be a bit early" I say as everyone stands around in spacesuits.

"So, there were humans on Mars in Victorian times?" Bill asks.

"No. There weren't."

*Time skip*

"The TARDIS registered multiple life forms below the surface, so this seems like the best place to look," Nardole says as the group walk through a tunnel.

"Maybe someone's been messing around with time. Like in The Terminator" Bill says.

"The Terminator?" the Doctor asks.

"It's a movie. You haven't seen it?"

"I'm a very busy man" I am scanning ahead with my sonic screwdriver.

"You'd like it. It's got killer robots."

"Ooo, I'll put it on our list" I say turning to smile a little.

"Even if there are people here, why would they bother writing messages on the surface of the planet?" Bill asks.

"State visit? Patriotic fervour? Rogue graffiti artist?"

"Seer."

"I see it."

"If there's fire, there's got to be oxygen" Bill starts to take her helmet off.

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