How to Bargain with a God

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I'm petty as fuck

Steve's POV

Crack

"Arg! Fuck!" I cursed as my pickaxe broke as I tried mining the cluster of coal I needed to replenish my furnaces. With a groan I looked in my satchel, shifting through it to see if I had any sticks to make another, with another curse I closed the latch and grabbed a nearby torch as I began making my way back home.

Another shake of my head and I steadily began retracing my steps, glad I hadn't gone too far from the exit I marked extensively. In my free hand I held my stone sword, although I knew with how much I lit the cave, there shouldn't be any mobs, yet one could never be too careful.

What I didn't expect was to step on loose gravel and fall down a hole, my heart dropped once I landed and pain flared up my right leg. With a groan I held the torch up to get my bearings.

In my great relief to see that in my need of wood, I landed on top of a dimly lit mineshaft.

"Thank the gods..." I breathed out, carefully getting myself to cover to heal myself. I limped to a dark room and quickly blocked it off with spare dirt blocks, with a sigh I reached into my satchel to light another torch.

"Isn't this a nice surprise...." A cold shiver went up my spine as I whipped around, raising my torch above my head as I tried to pinpoint the voice. I gasped aloud as torches along the wall lit up the room like magic, and my breath caught in my throat as I dropped the torch in hand at who was standing in the room aside from me.

"A mortal stops by~"

Herobrine

"But my question is, why are you down here? Hm?" He titled his head with a sickening chuckle. I parted my mouth to speak however he held his hand up to cut me off abruptly.

"Ah, ah! Let me guess....hm~ Looking for diamonds?" I flinched backwards as he stood, now holding a diamond pickaxe in his hand. Fear shocked me to my core as he started approaching me.

"N-no...I was trying to leave...ah..um I fell...I-I needed coal" I shifted my gaze downwards the closer he got to me. The yelp that came from my mouth as he used his weapon to tilt my head up to look at him.

"Oh poor baby, did you hurt yourself?" He teased, I shook as tears pooled in my eyes.

"Please...just please...let me go" I whimpered.

"Why? You're fun" He chuckled, his pickaxe dangerously close to my throat.

"If you do I...I uh" The way he laughed as he backed away a bit made me jump, luckily I wasn't nicked by the cruel weapon.

"Bargaining? Oh that's rich! What do you have that I don't already have to my disposal? Hm?" In a matter of life or death, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

"Me..." That got him to shut up as he tilted his head at me, in obvious confusion.

"What?" With a bit of hesitation I kneeled to place my satchel down and  took a breath, swallowing my pride and settling myself on my knees.

"What would I need with-! Hng?" I had reached forward and pulled him closer by the belt loops of his jeans, palming him and feeling him shiver.

"...oh" With a small glance, I peaked up at him, instead of him watching me he stared straight ahead as I took his length from the confines of his jeans and boxers, mildly aware that he had dropped his weapon.

Herobrine was eerily silent as I worked on getting him fully erect, kissing and licking at his member. He had growled lowly when I sucked on the tip.

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