Look at me different. (Minsung)

//49//

"hey mom." jisung walked in and sat down, placing a bouquet of flowers at the nightstand.

minho stood by the door.

"they said you responded to them today." jisung sat down in a chair next to her bed. "can you respond to me?"

he carefully took her pale hand into his own, gripping it lightly.

"you woke up and opened your eyes. you asked for juice, of course you did." jisung whispered and held on tighter to her hand.

minho watched from where he was standing. her eyes looked yellow and her lips were blue.

yet there was movement.

she opened her eyes more, yet it seemed like it hurt her.

her mouth was open, as if she were to close it she wouldn't be able to breathe anymore.

she turned her head to look at jisung, slowly.

her breaths sounded harsh.

"my baby," she murmured out, her slow hand going over to brush some hair away from jisung's eyes.

that was the first thing jisung had heard in months.

and it was so slow and dry- it didn't sound like her anymore.

jisung let out a breath- a smile on his face while his eyes watered. "i'm here." he whispered.

her hand slowly went back to the bed, as she smiled weakly what she could.

"i love you." she said.

it took a long time for her to say that- but it immediately started making jisung sob because he knew why she was saying it.

"i love you too. i'm so sorry mom.. i'm so so sorry.. i'm sorry." he sobbed into her hand, feeling the cold from it.

she shook her head as her eyes felt weighed down.

"i shouldn't have left you here.. i was working so hard for you- i was scared.. i-i.. i'm not a good son i'm sorry.." he wept, fingers shaking.

"you're good." she protested. "you were the best." she made out.

"...the best." she breathed again. "my best."

jisung smiled through tears. "i love you." he said again, looking into her dyed eyes that were weak and closing all the time.

she smiled though- so he knew that she knew he meant it.

minho wiped his eyes, looking up at the ceiling for a while.

she had always been a caring mother.

holding jisung when he cried- making him food.

caring for him.

listening to him.

loving him.

and jisung wished nothing more than to pay her back in return.

together jisung and his mom hummed a song from his childhood- that she would sing to him.

~~~

the feeling that came with something that was unfair devoured minho.

it was the only thing he felt.

it made him angry, it made him want to cry and scream.

it made him want to make the world stop.

jisung's mom had passed away that night at 3:25 am.

it made him feel things that he didn't know existed.