To Everything There Is A Season

July 13, Afternoon

            I was still not quite awake as we sat down to eat lunch. Dr. Sean in contrast looked wide awake and ready to face the rest of the day. I was starting to feel overwhelmed from having so many people in my space all the time. I'd been left on my own a lot growing up. As long as the chores were done my parents left me alone to do as I wanted. At camp we had classes in groups, but we weren't allowed to speak to each other beyond working together and helping each other learn new things so interacting in an informal setting was foreign to me. Jed liked to manage my days but even he left me on my own. Having nine men suddenly appear and want me to interact in ways beyond them telling me what to do was tiring. I wanted to step away from them and be alone for a bit.

"The last of the grains should be finished this afternoon. After supper tonight I want Kota to sit down with Miss. Sang and make up a list of tasks that need to be done around here. Once I have that in hand I will sit down with Kota and Miss. Sang and set up a schedule of tasks. Some will be assigned as they may be more suited to one person over another; North will most likely end up with any mechanical maintenance jobs, Gabriel with textiles related tasks that sort of assignment. Others will be posted as volunteer jobs for the day or week. Such a job may be helping Miss. Sang preserve food or daily kitchen duty." Mr. Owen looked around the table to see if anyone disagreed with his statement. No one else said anything so I swallowed my concerns and just listened.

I was really good at listening as others decided my life. I kept hoping these men would be different, but they never seemed to ask me if I wanted or needed their help in my jobs before stepping in. I appreciated their help with the bigger farm work that I either couldn't do on my own or didn't know how to do. The thing was I knew how to do women's work. I didn't need anyone to step in and help me do my jobs. I appreciated the help catching up, but I wanted to get back to my normal routine. I would have to gather my courage and talk to one of them. I hoped they would take it alright.

Movement around the table interrupted my thoughts. Lunch must be done. I stood up and walked over to stand quietly beside Mr. Owen and waited for him to finish his conversation with Silas. I wasn't listening to what they were saying as I tried not to panic about what I was going to do. I already felt pathetic for fainting the previous night and all the times I'd freaked out in the last few days.

"Did you need something Miss. Sang?" Mr. Owen asked looking a little startled to see me approaching him voluntarily.

"Mr. Blacknourne, Sir, I appreciate all the help y'all have been giving me, but I need some time alone. I'm used to working alone and managing my time accordingly. A number of the jobs you have reassigned are ones I've been doing since I was a child. I am fully capable of performing my chores to at least a satisfactory level. I am willing to sit down with Mr. Kota and come up with a list of tasks that need to be done around here, but I am a little hesitate to blindly obey directives. My life has been directed and dictated to me by others up until the last three months and I find myself a little reluctant to go back to having no say." I choked out, my heart beating so fast I thought it would jump out of my chest. I waited for Mr. Owen to punish me for my defiance.

"I apologize Miss. Sang. I keep forgetting that you have not been with our group for that long. I am used to assigning jobs to the group and having them those orders obeyed with minimal argument. I failed to take into account that you have been working alone for months. Take all the time you need. We have the threshing well in hand and Luke and North are both willing to fix supper or us tonight. I propose you take the afternoon to yourself; you have had a lot of changes in a very short time. You, Kota and I will sit down this evening and work out which jobs would benefit from an extra set of hands and which you prefer to do alone. I do have one request though. I would appreciate you teaching us how to do the work around the house. Skills like canning, spinning and weaving have by and large been lost. The fact that you know how to perform each of those is an opportunity we would be foolish to pass up."