Why can't I just die?

I'm seeing, and seeing-

..and seeing nothing.

Mask had sat there for maybe two hours, meaning everyone would be asleep by now when he began to cry in proper agony. He'd felt off for a little while now, but now the gravity of what he had done settled in. His body shook, he trembled every second, feeling as if his body was being torn apart from the inside. He groaned after a bit and finally leaned up. He felt his stomach contract in pain and so he scrunched up.

Mask coughed into his dust mask, crying as he covers his eyes now as his tears and rubbing of his hands made the smeared blood on his face become loose. Everything was making his face more a mess. He kept himself scrunched up for a bit before choking more and more, mind clouded and confused. His main goal was really the bathroom now.

Painkillers. Now.

His legs barely could stand as he moves, alerting the whole house with his loud steps, choked cries, and sniffles. Mask's eyes dripped with blurred tears as he fell on the ground and ripped open the cabinet, his mind was making it impossible to see straight. To see that these lovely 'happy pills' were what was making him die. He grabbed the bottle and shook all of its contents inside his hand, shaking so much he was dropping a few on the floor. His eyes widened as he tore off his dust mask to swallow the sweet candy, the one of all relief.

Mask swallowed down a few with every desperate gasp before coughing a few up, foamy saliva escaping his mouth. He shook in pained fear as he began to cough, choke, cry and everything, groaning in pain. His body felt absolutely torn apart and so he collapsed onto his side, trying to keep his eyes from darkening his sight anymore. This was one game where he couldn't get the highest score. He felt himself be lifted up and heard distant screams though as he kept foaming from the mouth.

Was this really the relief he wanted?

Mask couldn't come up with an answer for that question, coughing as he try to speak and feel his eyes begin to shut against his will. He felt himself get pressed up against warmth before he went out of his consciousness.

They never got to hear my voice tell them I love them.

I said all the time I hated everybody who dared to enjoy their lives.

Do they... still think I hate them?

Do they... love me too?

...

. . .

. . .

The purple giant broke through the hospital doors with his smaller loves chasing after him, even the fastest struggling as they all panicked. Screams from them all, every one of them echoed in the hospital's Emergency Room. A few nurses peeked with concern before finally seeing the damaged cyan rose in the arms of the rest. As a unit, they got their supplies together best they could despite having a busy day already.

Their poor rose dropped limply into a hospital bed before the nurses wheeled him away, trying to connect machines to him while they got him to a room even. IVs, heart monitors, and so much blood pressure tests. They all tried following them, but the flower was too broken to be seen so they got blocked by the doctors. The pink blur got the farthest before getting pulled away to wait with his fellow loves.

So they sat, all shaking as they think of their previous day. The flower shattered the glass cup, slicing his hand. The flower hadn't eaten anything but dinner in forever. The flower hadn't walked without nearly falling in forever. Their flower was wilted, yet tried to still keep its beauty for its fellow flowers in the flower bed to not wilt too.

But now they had. They were so scared for their lovely flower, and yet they didn't know what to say anymore to each other to comfort. The purple one just wrapped his arms around his two bleeding hearts to try and keep them safe from the fearful thoughts of truth.

"Do...Do you think it's our fault..?"

The vibrancy of the pink one dropped very clearly as he said that, voice cracking as he wipes away his tears with his palm.

Neither the Royal purple protector or their Flaming orange organizer responded, feeling their own colours drain to a softer gray of their original colour. Tears continued to drip between them and after a while, there was a moment of being composed.

"No... He.."

The soft taste of uncertainty entered the orange's mouth before he finished what he was about to say with small cracks between everything.

"He had his walls up so we wouldn't see. He didn't want us to... feel hurt, Aloha."

Silence filled the air around them once again before they just decided to hold back their emotions and just acknowledge the mess they witnessed before. The mess of their rose was unbearable to think about, so they just hoped for the best in quiet whimpers and soft yawns. He wanted them happy, yet they now were dealing with his mistake with so many more tears than a waterfall would ever need to drown everything.

What a truly funny thing.

Mask watched memories he loved with faded sights in what light was left in his mind, feeling the blue petals of the rose spill from him still. Blue roses did represent secret or unattainable love, so how fitting that he stopped himself from receiving the love he oh so desperately want before he got it right in his grasp to fix the countless holes in his heart.

The memory of the smallest flame growing to a bonfire so quickly in the past.

The memory of the ocean waves splashing over a happy soul and yet they got back up.

The memory of the childish joy one got when they got to have something nice on their tongue.

The countless times that they would sometimes bicker and have to be sorted out.

The gentle touch of one of the world's most beautiful things-no, people.

The memories. The more he relished in them, the more it made him want to go and see the light like his mind tried to make him before. Either that or go back, but in this dark and unforgiving hole where he falls forever, he'd have to find wings to even get closer to home. He felt his hands reaching for the strings around his neck and yanking on them to desperately try and get that horrible mind to give him some sort of pity.

In response?

Nothing.

What did you expect, you stupid fucking child?

None shall ever see your petals grow again, because of what you foolishly did.

Haha... Right what I did as I was choked..