League of Legends BTS - LND2020 (Judging)

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1. She was never mine - Yoonminslaysus 

Judge #1

Title: [1.5/2]

Cover: [1.5/3]

Description: [2.5/4]

Hook: [3/5]

Unique: [4/5]

Flow: [4/5]

Delivery: [4.5/5]

Pacing: [5/5]

Sequence of Events: [4.5/5]

Writing Style: [8/10]

Reader EI: [9.5/10]

Characters EI: [9.5/10]

Character Dev: [10/10]

Logic: [9.5/10]

Grammar: [6/10]

Vocab: [8.5/10]

Overall: [9.5/10]

Satisfaction: [4/5]

Total: [105.5/124]

Review

Cover→ it looks nice but doesn't give off the vibe of the book. 

Description→ It's too short and doesn't have that spark of grabbing the reader's attention. 

Grammar→ Switching between tenses:
ex.in chapter 4: Her phone (rang) with 'Yoongi' in caller Id. She (picks) up the phone and (stood) up to leave.
Choose either past or present. 

Did came x - Did come ✔ 

Didn't met x - Didn't meet ✔ 

Didn't faced x - Didn't face ✔ 

Couldn't decided x - Couldn't decide ✔ 

Don't put two past participant verbs after each other, it's grammatically wrong. 

Plot→ The first 3 chapters were rushed. Couldn't feel the emotions or the flow of events. 

The flow at few parts where you skipping time was abrupt and unnatural which disturbed the flow and the reader's connection with the events happening. Like how you explained that some years passed with y/n. 

The pacing was really good. It felt like the events had relatively equal timeframes. 

The ending though didn't feel smooth. You added so many emotions but didn't give a good closing. 

Writing Style→ You were like putting a scene after a scene. It felt like a camera roll, adding more description would solve the problem. That includes few later parts of the book as well.