Crystal Maze

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Janet: You sure as shit are one dumb, ignorant, white trash, hillbilly, Wallis.

Wallis: You're damn right.

(Trevor and Maddie walks into the Yellow Jack Inn)

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: Cheng, Spreadsheet, let's head outside and talk terms.

Tao Cheng's Translator: (in Mandarin Chinese) Come, come, come. Hurry!

(Tao Cheng and his translator walk outside to meet Trevor and Maddie)

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: Gentlemen, We think, we have proved that our organization can handle weight. And we think we have proved that our organization is a reliable supplier. In short, it's you and us, now give us some of that Goddamn X.

Tao Cheng's Translator: I'm afraid we want to go down a different path.

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: What?

Tao Cheng's Translator: We want to explore other opportunities.

Tao Cheng: (in Mandarin Chinese) You 2 are some big and crazy people. You 2 crazy. You 2 want a massage?

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: Shut the fuck up!

Tao Cheng's Translator: Our boss, Mr. Cheng's father, wants something a little larger. We want to move drugs, perhaps guns.

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: This is our life's work. We mean since we were little kids w-we dreamt big. Y'know, we've always wanted to be 2 international drug dealers and... weapons traders. Alright, so we're begging you, let's make this happen.

Tao Cheng's Translator: I'm very sorry.

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: You're sorry? You're fucking sorry? We just spilled our fucking guts out to you and you say to us you're sorry. Who you working with? Hmm, who?

Tao Cheng's Translator: I'm not at liberty to say.

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: Oh no, no, no. You're at fucking liberty, in fact we'd say you are obliged.

(Trevor and Maddie grabs Tao Cheng's head)

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: Who?

(Trevor and Maddie begins to push Tao's head on to a supporting beam, once for every use of the word "who")

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: Fucking who, who, who, who?

Tao Cheng's Translator: The O'Neil brothers.

Trevor Philips: The O'Neil brothers, huh?

Maddie Townley: Oh no not them.

Tao Cheng's Translator: Yeah.

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: Are you shitting us?

Tao Cheng's Translator: No.

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: 'Cause those fucking O'Neil brothers, We hear a little birdie tellin' us that they have a bit of a problem, since one of them is going to have to be surgically removed from the skull of the other. Fuck you guys and fuck them.

(Trevor and Maddie storms off into Trevor's vehicle as the translator tends to Tao)

Trevor Philips and Maddie Townley: Arghhhh!

(Trevor and Maddie starts driving towards the O'Neil ranch. The following dialogue occurs only if Trevor has a non-rock station playing)

Trevor Philips: Arghhhh. This music's all fucking wrong!

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Mar 27, 2020 ⏰

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