Ghost Not Forgotten

VI: Then

We were eleven, but it wasn't the first time Bennet and I ended up in Dr. Stanley Pike's office, nursing something bruised, bloody or even broken.

Stanley was used to it. He came sauntering in with a sigh, looking the two of us over. We were sitting side by side on his examining table, hair tangled, dirt everywhere, scrapes up and down our arms and all over our knees. Bennet kept telling me I broke his nose.

"I did not, you big baby."

"You're crazy, you know that?" he said.

We almost started at it again but Stanley put his hand up, looking at us with that look, the look a daddy would give his kids or – since Stanley was so old – a granddaddy would give to his naughty grandkids.

"What set you two off this time?" he said, bending over and taking Bennet's cheeks in his chubby and wrinkled hands. I noticed how much the veins stuck out of his skin and it made me never want to grow old.

Stanley focused on Bennet's nose, feeling it carefully for a break.

"Come on. Somebody best 'fess up," Stanley said when we kept quiet.

"He shoved me," I said.

Stanley's white brows rose. "Shoved you? What for?"

"She deserved it," Bennet grumbled, grimacing as Stanley messed with his nose.

"I did not! You just came up from behind and pushed me!"

"You keep talkin' to Gordie!"

I looked over at him. Stanley had stopped messing with his nose and was watching him with a smile I didn't understand. Bennet's cheeks were pink and his jaw was tense. He wouldn't look at me.

"What? I'm not allowed to talk to Gordie? He's good at math; I was askin' him if he'd help me with my homework," I said.

"I'm good at math," Bennet grumbled. "Why didn't you ask me to help?"

"Because Gordie's better at it than you are."

"Is not," Bennet muttered.

Stanley was laughing by now, chuckling away like it was the funniest thing he had ever seen. I was so confused. Bennet was obviously going crazy and Stanley was laughing?

I noticed Bennet's cheeks got pinker but I figured he was still mad about the Gordie thing.

"Well, your nose isn't broken," Stanley said, his big city accent still leaked through from time to time. "And it looks like you two are just banged up like usual. I'm going to go fetch some things to clean you up. Can I trust you won't rip each other to pieces while I'm gone?"

"I can't promise that," I said, scowling at Bennet. He didn't answer or look at me.

Stanley chuckled again and then shifted so he was in Bennet's eye line. When Bennet looked up at him, Stanley smiled.

"Do what you've got to do, son," Stanley told him. "Now's a better time than any, right?"

I had no idea what he was talking about, but it seemed like Bennet did. His whole face turned bright red.

He nodded, saying quietly, "Yes, sir."

Stanley chuckled, patting Bennet on the shoulder before he winked at me and left the room to get whatever he needed to make us look human again.

"What's he talkin' about?" I said. "And why're you so mad that I was talkin' to Gordie?"

Bennet took a deep breath. Then another. Then he sat up straight and turned to look at me. His face was still pink, but was slowly going back to normal.

"I don't want to be your friend anymore, Natty," he said and lifted his chin, looking at me like a statue would.

I almost fell off the table. A fear I had never dreamt of ever feeling sunk through my chest like heavy ice.

"What?" I whispered. "Why? What did I do?"

He scowled and looked away again, cursing under his breath.

"You got pretty," he said, twitching away at my side.

I hadn't a clue of what to think of this. I was never considered pretty. I had ratty red hair, I was skinny as all get out, my teeth stuck out too much, my skin was pale and freckled. I was gawky and clumsy. I looked like a boy with long hair.

"No I didn't!" I spat back. My cheeks were warm and my heart was beating fast. "And why does that matter?"

"Because it's not the same now," he said, turning back to me. He looked mad. "You're . . . You're a girl now."

I elbowed him. "I wasn't a girl before?"

"You know what I mean."

"No I don't," I said. "Why are you bein' so stupid?"

He turned pink again, all the way to his hairline. Then he took another deep breath and swooped, shoving his face at me.

And before I knew it, his pursed lips were smashed against mine.

Now my face felt hot like fire and my heart was going crazy.

He pulled away after a few seconds, grabbing my hand and staring at me. He was panting and all pink-faced, but he had his smirk on.

"I want to be your boyfriend. Not your friend," he said. "I'm gonna be your boyfriend, not Gordie."

I could barely speak; I was in such a haze. "Gordie? I don't like Gordie that way."

"Good," he said, squeezing my hand. "'Cuz I'd hate it if you did. Or if you liked anyone else that way."

I watched him and his skinny face and clear skin, his bright blue-green eyes, his messy blond hair. I felt his hand holding mine and though it wasn't the first time he had held my hand, it felt different this time.

And, suddenly, I realized Bennet was a boy. And I was a girl. It was different now.

"You like me that way?" I whispered, shaking a little.

"I kissed you didn't I?" he said.

"Well, yeah, but–"

He kissed me again, this time not as forceful, but still with pursed lips.

When he pulled away, his eyes were determined and his grip on my hand was firm.

"I wanna be your boyfriend," he said.

"Okay," I said, nodding a little, wishing my head would clear and my heart would stop racing. "Be my boyfriend then."

He smiled and kissed my cheek, a quick little peck, before he leaned back on his side of the table. He still held my hand.

"I will." He grinned like a lottery winner.

When Stanley came back in, he took one look at us – scraped and bruised, clothes a mess, pink-faced, hands clasped together and smiling like fools – and he just chuckled away.