We Are Family

Prologue: Who We Are

-Eric Cartman-

"Hurray up Kyle!" I yelled turning back to face Kyle. "I'm coming!" Kyle huffed while peddling faster. I laughed at his attempt to get caught up with the rest of the group.

Stan peddled right next to me and scoffed, "You know for a fat ass you sure peddle fast." I chucked, "Shut up asshole."

By now you're probably wondering, 'what the hell is going on?' Let me explain. I'm Eric Cartman and this is my group. My group consists of Stan, Kyle, and Kenny, but we're good friends with everyone else too. A long time ago, something tragic happened and it made us want to change. I started eating less and worked out more. I also went to therapy and anger management. I started gaining more friends. I even started dating the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

I won't go into detail about the rest of the group, it's their personal business. Let's just say, we got our act together. We're 16 now and in high school. We even go jobs. Kyle works at Olive Garden, Stan works at Walmart, and Kenny and I apply for small-time jobs like doing things for neighbors or helping people in general.

There's one thing that we dedicate our lives to. We're in a band called "South Park." I know very original. Also no, it isn't the Christian rock band that I did a while ago. The band brought us all close together. It even brought a good income. We all split the income evenly after doing a few things with it. We gave Kenny about 20% of it because he's very poor and needs it. Until his parents get a job, 20% goes to him. 30% goes to charity and our band supplies. The rest? That gets divided between us, but we don't spend it on drugs or anything.

Enough about that, the point is, we changed for the better. Yeah, we still tease each other, but that's just how we are. You could say that we were like a big family. I wish I saw it like that a long time ago. But somebody had to point it out to me.

Anyways, we were currently on our way to the hut for rehearsal. The hut was a little area where I and the boys would hang out at. It had everything, bunk beds, games, food, it was heaven. I parked my bike in the area behind the hotel. Our hut was in the small basement of the hotel. We entered the crowded area.

"Hi, Mrs. Teller!" I greeted. She waved and we made our way to the door. Stan put in the combination and we went down the stairs.

"Ah finally!" Kenny said running up to the top bunk and laid down on it. He pulled out one of his playboy magazines and skimmed through it.

"Come on Kenny! We have to rehearse!" Kyle snapped. Kenny groaned, "Fine!" We went through the door near our bunks to reveal another room with our instruments. I grabbed my bass guitar and started to play a few scales. Stan strolled to his drum set and Kyle picked up his electric guitar.

"Alright, which song should we play first?" Our lead singer, Kenny asked.

"Madness!" Stan suggested loudly. We all agreed and started to rehearse. I and the group were inseparable. We did everything together, and we were always there for one another. After a few songs, we decided to take a break. We went back to the main room and sat on the couch. Kenny grabbed a few beers and passed them out to us. I and Kyle gladly took one, but Stan hesitated. He had a past with alcohol.

"Alright what should we watch?" Kyle asked while skimming through channels.

"Aren't we gonna watch South Park?" I asked like it was obvious.

"Hell yeah we are, I was just testing you," Kyle said.

"Yeah sure," I said sarcastically.

We enjoyed watching the show, it brought us back to when times were tough. Let's just say, when we watch it, there's a lot of apologizing, mainly from me. We were proud of our changes and what we accomplished. We were proud of us. At the point, I thought, 'What could go wrong?' But you don't know the full story...

-Kyle Broflovski-

So I guess it's my turn. I'm Kyle Broflovski. Eric explained mainly everything, but I should explain my part. My change was controlling how angry I got. I went to anger management with Eric. Notice how we started calling Cartman by his first name. It's because we seem to trust him more. Out of all of us, he changed the most. He's actually really fun once you get passed all the negativity.

We actually became good friends. He still rips on me for being a Jew, and I still rip on him for being an insensitive asshole. But it's all just fun in games. Stan is still my best friend though. My opinion on us? Eric was right, we are like a family, but like him, I didn't see that. I also found out that I had insomnia and was crazy sleep-deprived. I usually don't get up until 1 or 2. The boys care enough to let me sleep. I laughed at one of the scenes in the show.

-Stan Marsh-

There's not really much to say about me. I used to be really depressed and I would drink a lot. Then I went to rehab and got that fixed. Now I'm not allowed to drink more than one bottle of alcohol. The boys made sure of that. I'm very fond of the band. We always seem to get along, which was surprising considering our past. Both Kyle and Eric were right, we are a family. It's too bad that we had to find out the hard way.

There was a scene in the show where Kenny died unexpectedly. I was so caught off guard that I spit my drink out.

"Ewww," Kenny commented. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off, which we gladly returned. We paused the show to clean up the mess.

-Kenny McCormick-

There isn't much to say. Except I probably got the worst of it. I grew up poor with two siblings. The tragic event that Eric was explaining, happened because of me. I got jumped and beat intensively. They found me and got me to the hospital. My curse was nearly gone at that time. Speaking about my curse, it's almost gone. After I got out of the hospital, Eric did everything to get rid of it. He was the only one to know about my constant deaths. He started saving me from dying. The curse started to go away and he became my best friend after that.

I guess you could say he was like my older brother. We are like a family. I got some paper towels for Stan and we started cleaning up the spilled beer. If only we knew we were a family, to begin with...