Imanni

Chapter 10: Heart felt

I know this has errors so point them out when you see them loves!
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Mrs. Coaxsten knew a lot about plants, I'd give her that.

I bet she'd spent hours in her garden, just soaking up the sun, and peace and the sound of the birds and the nearby stream.

I know I would.

In my last hour I was knelt near a tree, weeding around it. I had taken off my shirt a long time ago, the sweat had gotten to it.

I fell in love with the colors of the flowers and the stems of the trees. I fell in love with the sway of the leaves, and the feel of the moist soil between my fingers. Earth is the only pure thing here . . .the only innocent soul.

"My wife would spend almost the entire day out here," I jumped at his voice as he confirmed my earlier thoughts, "I personally did not see what she enjoyed but I loved to watch her regardless."

I stood, dusting off my knees and heaving a sigh.

"You've done good for today," he takes my palms and places the bills into them, "go ahead, take care of what you need to and I'll see you tomorrow."

He pats my back and I drop my eyes to the six hundred dollars that were now there, and then an extra fifty.

My eyes glistened, I know they did, and a tear ran down my cheek. I could resist the urge to shut them, and express my joy with God. I couldn't.

#

I had less than thirty minutes before Gee would be dropped over by Breane so I made the stop quick at the little dollar store.

It was owned by a white lady, so I made sure that I was weary, ensuring that my hands could be seen at all times. She sized me up the moment I entered but I wasnt here for long.

I grabbed the book and a few pens, before glancing at the shampoo and conditioner.

I took those, a little comb and some scrunchies.

Five minutes later i was leaving with about two dolls, cheap bed sheets and a few tshirts for me and Gee.

I needed to save every drop I got, but it was the first day and elated couldnt be the word used to describe what I was feeling. My next quick stop was the grocery store. I bought some water and a few snacks as well as some ramen noodles.

I eyed a chocolate bar, throwing it in also as I thought about the smile that would light up Breane's face.

Finally, I had arrived at the bus stop as soon as they pulled up.

Breane refused to meet my eye and I didn't question it as I thanked her and took Gee away. She pulled off as fast as she came and I glanced at Gelan to see if anything was different.

She was carelessly babbling about her day, as usual, while clinging to my feet until I picked her up.

"Slow down there cowgirl, daddy's only got two ears, and he didnt even hear you greet him."

"Hi daddy," she wraps her arms around my neck, squeezing tightly and chuckle. "Breane washed my hair."

"Great, it smells like strawberries."

She giggles happily before noticing the size of my bags.

"What's in these?"

"You'll see when we get home mamas."

She immediately gets excited, her eyes in restless as we push open our door. She quickly flicks on the light, drops her bag and turns to me.

"For you," I offer the chocolate to her as if she was a queen and she gasps.

"Daddy!" She squeals happily, launching herself into me and I nearly fall over at her tiny strength.

"Thank you! She yells before grabbing it and tripping over her feet as she tries to make it to the bed.

"Gelan," I sigh, helping her back up but she didn't even care. She just happily flung herself onto the mattress and yanked the thing open.

With only a chocolate bar, Gelan was content.

I opened the other bags, and hid the dolls behind my back.

"I have something else for you."

"For me?" She says, with her mouth slightly closed since she didnt want to open it while she was chewing. Her eyes were wide, chocolate splattered all over her mouth.

"For you my princess," I placed the dolls in front of her, and watched as she melted. She was frozen, slowly setting down the bar, and taken the both of them from my hands.

She opened the boxes and . . . And began to cry.

I moved to take her in my hands but she shook her head.

"I dont want a hug right now daddy, I want to play with my dolls."

So with tears still running down her face, a chocolate bar in one hand, and the dolls in another, she happily hummed to herself. I don't know whether I should feel whole or broken.

Gelan was happy. She was genuinely happy even in a place like this. I decided that I would give her the clothes tomorrow. This was enough excitement for tonight.

She wanted to be left alone, so I quietly wiped her eyes and left to sit in a corner with so I could begin to budget.

Things i need                       estimated price

A refrigerator (mini)               $ 400
A small stove                            $ 80-100
Some paint (3 cans)                 $ 50-100
A decent bed                              $1,500
A rug                                           $70

I planned to get a brand new bed, so that Gelan could sleep much better without the threat of bed bugs or even an aching lower back.

Everything seemed doable, and I knew that if I kept this job, with $600 a day, I could be off my feet in no time.

"Daddy?"

"Yea Gee."

"Are . . . are things getting better?"

"They sure are mamas, come here." Finally, she walks over to me and crawls into my lap.

"I prayed . . . I asked god to help us. . . To help you because. . Because daddy your clothes have stains too . . . Bigger ones than mine."

She looks conflicted as she raises her eyes to mine.

"Do the grown ups make fun of your clothes too?" She almost whispers, her eyes pleading with me, for what, I dont know.

"Sometimes," I admit quietly and she places a palm on my face.

"Its okay Daddy, it's okay. We're different like you said right? They have not stained clothes, and we have stained clothes and that's okay, right?"

"Right," I agree with her, a small smile on my face and she returns it.

"T-the kids at Breane calls me things like poor and . . . dirty. They lie on me, and whisper things but I hear them," she gulps and I clench my fists, "they say I don't bathe. . . And that I smell. Do I smell daddy? Please don't lie."

"Of course not, Gee."

"I know." She nods, "I ask Breane to smell me, so that she can prove them wrong."

"Does she?"

"Sometimes . . . Other times she says that I need to get over it. I dont think I want to go back to Breane's daddy."

"And that's okay, you don't have to."

"Thank you." She whispers laying her head on my chest and I sigh, my heart heavily.

Heavy, heavy hearts, that were hers and mine.