My Best Ennemy / A Formula One story

Chapter 4 : Orphan.

Couldn't believed it. Cancer. He had bloody cancer. And rather than talk to me. To talk to my brother. He killed himself. I was so furious. And now I understood. Why he was so nice. Why he changed. Why he wanted to spend times with his sons what he never did before.

I hated you Sean Martin cause you were a complete bastard, cause you never gave me a chance. And at this exact moment, I hated you for being dead. To dare abandon me. Like mom did.

I was an orphan. 23 years old. No parents. No girlfriend. Alone in the fucking dark. Again.

*

Carolina knew all along. She didn't told us cause he made her promess. What a morron. Caro too. I was really mad at her after she showed me his last text. She understood he was gonna do something stupid but she didn't stopped him. Neither did I. He never picked up my calls, so...the Australian Grand Prix would be our last moment together...forever and always.

I couldn't face my best friend at the ceremony. Even if I could understand her point of view, I couldn't forgive her for not telling me he was sick. Steven didn't knew either. At least my brother was in an complete blur too. In a way, it helped me.

Zandvoort was coming but I didn't felt like racing. I think it was the first time in my life that I knew that any car could ease my pain.

*

With my brother we decided to sell the family house close to Sydney.It was a long tim ago since someone really lived there and even for our vacation we didn't used it that much. He asked me to come with him, get some stuff, things we couldn't give or trash. I didn't know if Steven needed me because it would be too hard for him to go alone or because he thought I needed that in my grief process. Maybe both.Anyhow, my brother was the only person I could tolerate right now so I came.

Seeing mom and dad pictures or some family cliches when we were little was honestly a heart breaker. After my mom's accident, I thought i'll have my father around for at least fifty years. People always told me that being mean and greedy were the perfect cure of life. Another lie at least. I felt sad when I realised that any of my parent would see me became world champion or simply get married or having a child of my own.

When Steven gave the keys to the man in charge after our tour, I felt sick. It was our home. Our family place. Why did we rushed things ? Why did we have to sell ? I wasn't realising that the place was that important to me.

But it was too late. The man left. Steven too. And in a wink, I was alone again, with all my demons.

*

I was with my agent Gigi on the parking lot just right after the free practices number three. I was terrible. Like during the first and the second. Yesterday, I had the brillant idea to drink all the alcohol from the mini bar until I passed out. Couldn't sleep without it. Too many thoughts. Hurtful ones.

Sunglasses on the noze, I wasn't listening what the woman was speaking about. I couldn't care less. The quali were about to start and I wasn't ready.

I didn't notice the kid with a cap stalking me until Gigi put his finger on him.

The teenager looked like he was in Disneyland. Probably a fan who wanted an autograph. He had a visitor pass around his neck so I thought I was right about that. During three seasons, I saw plenty of them. I wasn't in the mood but used to it I started to check for a pencil in my pocket.

The kid came closer.

- Hi...Hi Shannon. Me llamo Carlos Montoya-Vasquez. I'm fifteen years old and a Formula 3 driver.