i believe

•4•

[2 weeks later]

"No, Edwin!" I yell while getting frustrated. I run my fingers through my hair and I sigh. "You spin first!"

He groans, "I'm sorry. I can't fucking get it."

"Well then get it!" I yell. "It's not that hard."

It stays silent for a few seconds and then Nick speaks up, "Why don't we take a bit of a break."

We do as he says and everyone walks over to the bench. Well except for me. I walk out of the studio to get some air. I stand next to the railing and I rest my arms on. I look out at everything in front of me and I take a deep breathe. I've been really stressed recently. I'm not feeling the best again and I have lots of doctors appointments coming up. I have to go to them alone which always scares me. My mom used to always go with me. Now I'm alone.

The door opens and I look over. Nick stands next to me. We have been so good since our first date. He takes me on dates all the time and we both confessed to having feelings for each other. I just wish he would ask me to be his girlfriend already.

"Ma, are you okay?" He says super softly.

I smile lightly, "Just stressed."

He starts to rub my back, "About what?"

"Just everything," I say. "I just want everything to be perfect for tour."

"And it will be," he says. "You don't need to stress so much about it. It's okay."

I smile lightly, "I know, I know."

What he doesn't know though is that I'm dealing with so much more than tour. I have so much going on and I'm so scared. I'm scared of everything and I don't want to tell him or else he will just run from me. I don't even know what to do at this point.

"How about we call it quits today," he says. "I want to take you somewhere."

I smile, "Okay."

"I'll grab your things and tell the boys. Wait here." I do as he says and he runs back into the studio. About two minutes later he comes back with my stuff and his. "You ready?"

"Yes." We walk over to the car and he throws our stuff in the backseat of the car. "How are the boys getting home?"

"Uber," he says. "Just get in."

I get in the passenger side of the car and he drives away from the studio. "Can you tell me where we are going?"

He grabs my hand and interlocks our hands together. He brings my hand to his lips and gives it a few kisses and then sits both of our hands down on the center console, "When do I ever tell you?"

I groan, "Literally never."

He chuckles, "Exactly."

He keeps driving and I just look out the window. I can feel him glancing over at me every once in a while and it just makes me smile. After about fifteen minutes of driving he stops in a parking lot.

"We are here," he says.

I look at him like he is stupid, "A parking lot?"

He chuckles, "Don't get so upset. Come on."

I get out of the car and he grabs my hand again. I smile lightly and we start walking in front of us.

"What are we going to do at a parking lot?"

"It's not just a parking lot," he says.

We keep walking and that's when I see it. We are at the beach. We start to climb a staircase and that just makes me even more confused. When we get to the top the wind pushes against me and it feels so good. I can see the whole beach from up here. The water, the sand, houses, absolutely everything. It's so beautiful.