Chapter 1

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My first Victorious fanfic. Hope you like it but before I'll give you a quick trigger warning:

mentions of self-harm, mentions of rape, depression, angst, suicidal thoughts, bullying

I don't intend to go into too much detail when it comes to these topics but just in case. Sometimes mentioning it can be enough for some people. I respect that.

But now enjoy the first chapter :)

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You don't belong here.

You're an embarrassment for this school.

Hollywood Arts doesn't need you!

You should just die...

These were just some of the things my classmates told me daily and that were bothering me. I actually wanted to do my homework but I just couldn't concentrate. The negative thoughts wouldn't stop to pop up and I couldn't help but to give in. What if they were right? What if I am a failure and should just leave? What if I shouldn't even exist?

My name? My name is Valerie Vega but most people call me Val like my sisters Trina and Tori. I'm the youngest of the Vegas and just joined the Hollywood Arts this school year. I really really loved dancing, singing and I play the violin. Sometimes I even liked to write. But my dream was to become a dancing violinist just like Lindsey Stirling who was one of my two role models and idols. Dancing around and playing was just my thing. Ariana Grande was my other favorite musician. I loved her voice so much! If I would ever get the chance to do music with her together I think I would just die by her presence.

I smiled to myself and was just about to listen to my Ari playlist to distract me from my thoughts when someone bursted in my room without knocking. I almost jumped out of my skin and nearly let my phone fall.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

I turned around to see Tori standing near the door of my room with an apologetic look on her face.

"Nevermind... What's up?", I shrugged it off trying to calm my heartbeat.

"Oh uhm.. dinner's ready. Wanted to let you know.", Tori said and still looked a little guilty for scaring me.

I smiled mildly.

"Alright, thanks. I'll come down in a second."

Tori looked me up and down with her big brown eyes and frowned a little.

"Are you alright?"

"Everything's fine, why're you asking?", I pretended like I didn't know what she was talking about.

"I don't know you barely come out of your room lately. Also I don't really see you around at school.", Tori answered worriedly.

"I was just busy... homework and practicing ya know..."

"Okay... But you do know you can talk to me any time right? No matter what it is about I'm here for you."

"I know, thanks.", I said and gave her a hug to make her believe I'm really fine. I really love to hug and cuddle and Tori knows that. I wouldn't be the same if I wouldn't do it.

"You're the best big sister. But don't tell Trina.", I said and chuckled.

Tori laughed and hugged me back.

"Promise."

When we parted we both finally went down to join our family for dinner. It was one of the few evenings when all of us were at home at the same time. Dad mostly had to work and Mum as well. Usually I'd be happy to have all of them around at the same time but today I didn't feel like socializing.

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