𝖨𝗍 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 (𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝖿𝖺𝗇𝖿𝗂𝖼)

𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝖾𝖾𝗇

𝖣𝖺𝗇𝗂𝖾𝗅𝗅𝖾 𝖱. 𝗉𝗈𝗏

It's been a week, I can't handle it. I've been sad, mad, depressed. I can't stop thinking about everything. When he proposed and then the gunshot and then him laying there bleeding out, I couldn't stop thinking of it.

Every time I opened my phone a picture of us would be on it and I would break down. I listened to the videos we took of each other and how he would always say I love you at the end of each one.

I kept remembering the beautiful memories we had together and I would start crying. He even proposed and he's gone. I won't be able to walk down the isle and see him standing there at the altar in his tux and say I do. I won't be able to dance with him and go to dinner and parties with him. I won't be able to have a baby with him and raise a family, I won't be able to grow old with him. I won't be able to spend forever with him. All that could have been is gone.

I can't live without him. I can't be happy, I can't. I feel like nothing without him with me. It's like someone ripped out my heart and stepped on it. I feel dead.

Thankfully they found the killer, and he's locked up for life so no one will be hurt.

The gang always try's to comfort me but I can't it hurts more. Many people have messaged me and have told me there sorry for my loss, but them saying them wouldn't bring him back.

I want to be with him, I hate feeling this pain.

I grabbed a pen and a paper. Tears escaped my eyes as I wrote.

'Dear gang,

If you are reading this I'm dead, 𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 before you break, I can't live without him, it hurts so much and it feels like if this pain won't ever leave. I keep remembering the night and the gun shot and him just laying there and his last words saying that he loved me. I love him so much and he's gone, and I just won't ever be the same. My heart is crushed and there is no way to fix it, everyone says there sorry and that it will get better but it won't, they don't know what an amazing person he was, and how much he loved me and how much I loved him. All there sorry won't bring him back to me. Every time I open my phone I see a picture of us and There are videos and I just can't, the feeling of him not being here shatters me to pieces. I'm sorry that I'm doing this but I can't live with this pain my whole life. I love you guys so much, Darry please keep making those amazing chocolate cakes, and find someone to love, Sodapop keep being that gorgeous smiling movie star, I know for a fact that you'll find someone so amazing, Ponyboy keep being sweet and innocent, go to college, your so smart and handsome you also will find a girl to love and be with, Johnny please keep being your kind loving self, you always put everyone before you and you care just for everyone, put yourself out there and talk to girls they don't bite, find a good one and love her with all your heart, my Mickey Mouse, my fucking two-bit Matthews, god I'm going to miss your jokes and stupidness, you are my best friend that would make me laugh until I pissed my pants, you were my drinking buddy, and you are just so dang amazing I know you'll find the perfect person for you that will share the same love for Mickey you've got. And Steve, oh god Steve, you were there for me through everything, you saved me from getting killed that night, and then you made me feel better by bringing me to the Curtis house that night I was crying at The park. I always felt something special towards you and when I found out we were siblings it made me 1000 times happier. I love you so much Steve, you don't even know how much it hurts to say goodbye to you. Tell Evie that I love her so much and she was the best girlfriend that I could ask for, please keep her she's so amazing, and you guys are just meant to be, stay with each other. Tell Timothy that he was the best little brother I could ask for too, and that he always made me happy tell him that love him and that saying goodbye to him is so painful. Tim tell bob to hang on and to try not go off edge and that I love him even though he was a bit annoying, tell him our small moments mattered. Steve tell mom that I love her and that I'm sorry, tell her to not be sad and to leave Tulsa go some where better and safer. I love all you guys so much, please live your lives with love and happiness. Goodbye.

-Danielle Paris Randle '

I put the note on my bed night stand and thought of the least painful way to die. I went to the cabinet and took a lot of Pills. I sat in my bed and took out my phone. I took of video of myself reading the letter out loud and as I read it I cried. I sent the video to the gang, Evie, Timothy, and Bob.

I felt my heart beat slower, and it was getting hard to breath. I closed my eyes and I was gone.

𝖲𝗍𝖾𝗏𝖾 𝖱. 𝗉𝗈𝗏

It's been a rough week, everyone was sad and well Dani was done with life I could tell.

We were all talking until we all got a message of Dani. Once we heard the first sentence we all jumped into Darry's truck and drove to my house as fast as we could.

"I hope we aren't too late" two said about to cry, I ran inside and I to Dani's room.

"We're too late" I said walking over to her life less body, "oh Dani, why? Why'd you have to leave?" Everyone began to cry, I began sobbing.

Ponyboy started reading the letter out loud and it just made us cry even more. When my mom came into the room she started sobbing.

"My baby girl, I just got you back" my mom cried holding Dani in her arms. My heart broke.

We aren't ever going to be the same with out her being gone.

I wish we were back in Texas two years ago, when we were all together happily. With no worries no pain.

I can't believe my little sister gone forever