If There's a Reason He's Still Alive

six

Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts, Violence {Don't read if this upsets you, stay safe everybody!}

Alex POV

I woke up in my room with no memory of what had happened yesterday. I stood up and promptly fell right back over again onto the block of foam. Vague bits of what had happened started to swim back.

Eliza drawing my blood.

Tripping over my own feet.

I was drugged. Probably. I don't know why and I don't know what it was. But that's what it has to be, I wouldn't act like that on my own.

Any other person would be causing a fuss right now. But I don't. I know they're watching to make sure I wake up okay. Can't have somebody die in their hands. I smile at the corner where I can see a small blinking light. So predictable.

I hope that James is watching this. He'd get so much pleasure from seeing me throw a fit. I won't give it to him. I'll just hope he gets the memo: that I'm watching, ready to escape, and there's nothing at all he can do about it.

Thomas POV

Third time's the charm, right? In the first session, I got knocked out by Alexander. In the second session, he's drugged. Please let this be a normal session. In other news, I'm still not allowed to hold sessions without James in there. Alex seems to be much more genuine without James; it's hard to explain. I know I'm probably not going to get anything out of him today, but I'll see. I think I've learned from my mistake; I'm not going to suggest stuff for Alex to talk about anymore unless I can be sure it's not a trigger.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts as the door opens and Alexander is pushed in by James, who, if it's even possible, seems smugger than yesterday.

"Good morning, Alexander," I say.

"Good morning, Thomas Jefferson," he says in an unsettling whisper.

James is smirking in his corner.

"So, Alexander, what's happened since I saw you last?" I say.

"Oh nothing much," he says, but the tone is even sweeter than last time, "I just got drugged. So tell me in the name of all things shitty why you did that?"

James is still smirking. It's probably physically impossible to hate someone more than I hate James right now. I can't do anything, not with Alex in the room. So I return my focus to Alex, I'll deal with James later.

"I didn't drug you, Alexander," I say. Even though it makes me sick to my stomach, I know that saying anything other than what Angelica told me is bad: it could get me removed from my position. "Nobody did, it's true, we did order you a sedative but it was supposed to be a much smaller dose, I was informed that you were given that by accident."

Alex gives me a suspicious look as if he knows what I actually think about what happened. Of course, he probably does, but he makes no comment to indicate that he doesn't believe the lie I told him.

"Well then," he says, "I was wondering how you enjoyed blacking out. One of my favorite activities, I hope you don't dislike me for doing that. Of course, our jolly old friend James is here, so we have to assume somebody got a little pissy."

Ugh. I would like nothing more than to send James out now, but I'm not allowed to, a revelation James is clearly enjoying. So I fabricated a lie. "Well, Alexander, James is here so we can all feel safer. He's here for your good, otherwise, we wouldn't have brought him in here. I broke policy by sending James out of the room, I apologize to you for doing that. It won't happen again."

Alexander eyes me for a second, then responds. "Well sure, I'm positive you haven't heard of patient-doctor confidentiality. You must know, Jefferson, that concept that's taught in even basic-level psychology. A practice that's agreed upon whenever someone decides they would like psychiatric treatment."

He's not wrong. James shifts behind me, I can tell he's upset that Alexander is rightfully picking holes in something he clearly was trying to skate over.

Alexander looks at me weirdly again before shifting the topic to a little less tense one. "So, how do you like New York, Jefferson?"

"Good, I guess?" I say.

Alexander POV

Ha. He must think I'm done playing with him.

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I pause before responding. "Yes, the sunrise was beautiful this morning, although it was somewhat cold up on the roof. Hmph. You should put heaters up there."

Let's see how Jefferson takes this one. It's not really him I'm testing at this point. Although I haven't been testing him the entire time. I want to see James' reaction the most. He's probably fooled Jefferson into thinking that he's a nice person. I just want James to play into my trap and do something about this, ahem, security issue. Of course, I've never been up on the roof, although I would love to go up there. A jump would end so much, no more Alexander. Maybe I'll go there once I escape.

James is clearly put off by this statement, which is exactly how I want it. He looks like he's fighting himself to not do anything about it now, which is a shame. One more good comment should get him upset and then Jefferson can see exactly how James likes to treat his patients.

Nobody's responded to that yet, so I decide to try my hand at provoking James once again. "Shame we can't go up there all together, I'd have so much fun with you guys. We could play my favorite game, gravity. It's a simple experiment, really. How much work would it take before gravity did its job and finished you off, James?"

With that, I get out of my chair. James is on edge, I can tell. So I guess I'll just make myself an easier target. I know James is going to do something, but instead of fighting back or trying to piss him off more, I'm going to curl up in a ball. If I know him as well as I think I do, he'll have no problem hurting me while I'm down. And if I've read Jefferson correctly, this is not something he is going to like.

I wrap my arms around the back of the chair and smile at Jefferson. For once, James cooperates with me. Before I can say anything he shoves me to the floor and locks me in a choke-hold. He holds my arms back above my head and deals blows into my stomach. I feel like I'm going to pass out, but I manage to scream out "STOP, YOU'RE HURTING ME. I SURRENDER, I SURRENDER!"

"No you're not, Alexander you filthy lying sonofabitch!" he says. Even though I'm in pain I'm still happy because he's playing right into what I wanted. He's continuing to beat me even though I now pose no security danger. I can hear Jefferson coming to my defense in the background. I finally allow myself to slip out of consciousness, very pleased at what I've accomplished.

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Summary: Alex tries to bait James and Thomas by telling them he went up to the roof and thinks about what would really happen if he went up to the roof. When nobody responds, he makes a further comment about killing the staff and then gets out of his chair. James reacts by beating Alex until he passes out, which is what Alex was baiting him to do.

A/N: I've put some difficult stuff in this story and I want to remind everybody that you are loved. If you ever are having a hard time, talk to somebody. People are here for you, so remember that you never have to go it alone. You are valid and loved.

In other news, we're at sixty-six views (hey that rhymed), so I don't think I'm going to see it when it hits the *magic number*. Seriously, thank you so much for reading my story, it really means a lot.

Your dearest author,

Angie

Word Count: 1190